Monday, December 14, 2009

My 2cents worth

There are two things that I am really sick of right now.

The first, is the whole world cup fever thing. Yeah...I've been waiting for what is it, 8 years now? (yes 8 because South Africans didn't count the last world cup) and I'm done. And with SA playing in the group that they are going to, I don't see any hope. I'm sorry, I know its pessimistic, but I can't help it. I am patriotic and I will still support them, even though I know better. With the hope that I'm proven wrong.

The one good thing about the world cup is all the beautiful males that will be gracing us with their rock hard abs, thighs of steel and hair that takes longer than a match to groom...mmm.

The second is the whole love hate relationship with twilight. Firstly I don't get the girls who go that crazy for Rob P, who is not as good looking as Edward, a fact that he has admitted to. And then I don't get all the haters, who think its the worst movie that they have ever seen. Ever watched Max Payne? That for me was looking pulling out my finger nails one by one!

I've said it before and I'll say it again. The books a geared to teenagers, and they just happened to be a hit with a larger age group. The books is not any different to any other teen books out there, like point romance, point horror, sweet sixteen...books that I have not seen on any shelves for quite some time. If you ever do come across any of them, take the time to read one of them, which will take you like an hour and you will realise that all Twilight is, is the rehashing of an old genre. A genre that seems to be dead to me.

The New Moon movie, as far as I'm concerned was good, even better than the book. They did a very good job, even though you could see Bella had contacts in one of the scenes. Oh and what happened to the rain? It rained like only once! The fighting was much better in Movie, which gives Breaking Dawn hope because in terms of the fighting it was a serious anti climax in the book.

Twilight is not the first to sprout words of cheesiness and it will not be the last. Ever watched Wedding Date? Its like cheese galore. So here is some advice...if you didn't like the first two don't watch the second two because the cheese just keeps on coming. And really its something you either like or you don't.

Personally, I think June is too far away.

Monday, November 16, 2009


Have you watched the movie? I haven’t.

But I can’t get that word out of my head.

In most ways that’s how I think of people. We’re constantly changing, and yet we stay the same. I guess that is the genius of the way The Almighty has created life. It have this balance, this ying and yang. Where our lives are shaped by both the bad and the good.

But there are times when you can pin point the event that changed you.

I find it weird how the bad things that happen in our lives don’t only change who we are, but how they never leave us. It becomes apart of our identity. It’s unavoidable. You don’t want the bad to stay with you forever, but to a large extent it does. And there is just no running from it. Some people are so changed by the bad that they seem are different, broken almost.

It’s like I was talking to Romeo and I asked him if he had children. A question that he avoided until I asked it for the third time, then he answered that he did have a daughter who passed away. She was only 7 months old.

Now how do you run away from this moment? Because no matter how he answered this question, the answer would always tell me something more about his life, then he would want me to know. And what if you don’t want people to know? You lie and eventually the truth comes out and then they see even more that what you were willing for them to see in the first place.

And most of us have this bad thing that changed your life. That becomes part of you. It’s like introducing yourself to someone: Hi, I’m Jane and my brother died, or I’m Tasnim and my parents are divorced. This is not all of who we are but it is what shaped our reality. It’s not something you can run from. And it’s the people who never had a big bad change them who are oblivious to just how lucky they really are.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The type of Love

Love is the 'holy grail' that all people seek at some point in their lives.
I have a theory about a specific type of love.

If the type of love that you find,is the type that gives you wings,then run away from it.
The higher you fly, the harder the fall.For humans are never meant to fly.
If we were we would have had wings. And when we do get such wings,it is never meant to last long.
And anything that makes you more or less of a human, can be seen as sheirk.
And should never be entertained.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009


Aahh blogging…I remember it, like it was yesterday. The feel of the imagination going wild! A place where I could type anything I wanted to.

FYI – after this thesis, I will not be typing the words company, power, negotiated, within and hierarchy…for the next year at least!

Soon, it will be done, then I can come back to the blogosphere…then it’s a party on my blog! Whoo hoo!

Sunday, July 19, 2009


When the darkness sees you
You cannot hide
It shapes and forms and grows
And as much as you close your eyes
And cover your head
And try to hid
The darkness sees you

It grips at your soul
Digging its claws into your body
Ripping your flesh

But your screams are silent
And your body heavy
Because the darkness has you now

But do not be afraid
Soon it will be over
Ignore the light
That exists yonder
That will come and set you free
For the Darkness has you now

Even though you can feel the claws
Dig every time you move
Even though the Darkness has you
You still hope of its release?
What a stupid thing
But then again
Hope often makes fools of the brightest stars

When the darkness sees you
There is no turning back
Even though you were saved
Even though you are okay
It is now you that can see the Darkness
And for as long as you live
You will never be able to forget it

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

I like

I watched the series on SABC 3 War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy. There was something that was said in the movie that I really like, and I think its very true.

One of them said “life takes you to places that your imagination dare not go” or something like that

Good one Leo!

Friday, June 12, 2009


I have a theory.

What if we were only mean to have or meet a certain number of people in our lifetime?

In 1960 something, the population of the place I live in was around 60 000 people. It has grown since then, yet when I go to the shop I see the same people, all the time. When I go to a shopping mall inside as well as outside my residence I see the same people. And if I do see some one ‘new’ it is for a very brief time. Now do I just know everyone in my neighborhood? Nope. Or do I just not notice the people I don’t know? Could be. But why is it that when I go on Facebook and check on the status updates I always only see 5 or 6 people out of 100 and something friends? Now I do understand that not all people have status or update there status as often but I think its strange.

So this is where my theory comes in. Our lives are like wheels (you know those wheels inside a clock, I don’t know what they called). Now I didn’t do science but, if the wheels were moving (you know how they interlink) towards each other at the same time, there would be certain points that would come into contact with each other repeatedly no?

What if we were only really meant to have like 1000 people in our lives at a time. And no matter what you did to ‘meet new people’ or to ‘get out into the world’ you would constantly see or meet people within those 1000 people? And if one of those 1000 people die or leave you, another person comes into your life to take that place. So you would ask what about those people who have more friends than others. Well, not all of us have the same amount of people who are meant to be in our lives, some might have 500 or some might have 10 000.

And when we let go of those people in our lives who are harmful or toxic to us or who have hurt us, only then will new people take that place. We can also get caught up, in either allowing the same type of person to step into that open space or we can choose to let someone in who is better than the last person.

And that is why I am not married. My husband has not yet worked his way into my circle yet. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Thursday, June 11, 2009


I remember it. The sweat rolling down my face and burning my eyes. My muscles were on fire. I breathed so hard it felt like my rib cage was going to crack. There was no music spurring me on. Just my heart pounding in my ears, and me saying to myself, one minute is nothing. But each second passes by like a thousand years. And with each second you think you not going to make it. I was going to give up, and just before I did, I heard the most beautiful word in my life “relax”. It was done. I finally finished my Black Belt promotion.

I worked my ass off for seven years. Five days a week, and sometimes on weekends, I worked. I gave my sweat, blood and tears to something that I though was great. Do you know what it is like to feel like you were born to do something? When I started Karate, for the second time, I was 14. And I was a natural. It took me half the time to learn the stuff than the other people. I started teaching much earlier than any of the others. I was brilliant. When I was at a tournament everyone would watch me. When I put on that suite I became someone else. As a child I was completely shy, I would hide behind her skirt all the time. But Karate helped me handle being the centre of attention. When I walked into the class, people would say “there she” and if I was not there they would ask where am I. I was like a celebrity. I had Power. It was AMAZING. But nothing lasts forever.

In hindsight, I was cocky and arrogant. I loved being admired and liked and even feared. But at the core, I believed in what Karate represented, I still do. I see it as an Art. And very few people actually do. People often see it as a way of kicking someone ass, but I look at a fighting scene like an artist would study van Gogh.

The truth was, I was given too much power too soon. But power comes with a price. And as long as I was getting something out of it, I was okay. But it started becoming too much. I didn’t just do Karate, I became it. My teacher tried to control my life. What I wanted to study and where I wanted to go, he wanted to know everything. Everyone always said I was his star pupil. But really what I was was his pawn. If he said jump, he wanted me to say how high. And I did to an extent. Then I just started doing what I wanted to do. I didn’t listen to him, because I knew he needed me to teach because I was a natural at it. I didn’t abuse the power I had, all I did was the run class they way I saw fit. Instead of doing it because I loved it, I started doing it, because I had to. The pressure of living my life according to what was expected of me became so much, until one day I cracked. The very pedestal that people put me on, the one where I was having such a nice time on, became a burden.

I remember telling him, that I was resigning…I wrote out my letter and everything. I will never forget the look on his face. A few days before we had an argument and he threatened to take my belt away. I couldn’t believe it. Here I had sacrificed my personal life. When he asked me to cover for him, I did. After all the sacrifices I had to make, this fucker was telling me, he would take MY belt away??? It wasn’t that he wanted to take the belt away, it was that he threatened to do it, because I didn’t agree with him, that really pissed me off! I was so angry and insulted. I didn’t need karate, karate needed me. And for the longest time, I was doing something that made me unhappy because I thought it was the right thing to do. When I gave him the letter, he was begging me to stay. BEGGING…a grown ass man begging me to stay. I was disgusted. My father hated him. And I though it was because he treated me like a daughter, but at that moment it dawned on me. Does this guy see me as something else? I felt betrayed. I trusted him, and for him to see me as anything else than a student or even a daughter was for me a betrayal. I walked out and got into the car, and he was following me and still begging, my mother was driving and he was trying to tell her, to tell me to stay. WTF? I was thinking to myself. Did I let it get this sick? I blamed myself for a while, because I let him think that he had sway over me. But not anymore, because I know now, that I can’t control other people, all I can control is myself.

To leave was one of the hardest things I ever had to do in my life. It’s like I gave up a huge part of me. I felt empty for a long time. Then I realised that I was in love with being admired and liked and adored. I was listening to the story of one of the guys from Colour me bad and it was like I knew what he was feeling. He became an alcoholic, because he couldn’t handle being just normal. Not having so many people love you. My ego went from a giant to none existent in a matter of days. It was horrible. But it was the best thing that ever happened for me. I felt like a huge burden had been lifted off my shoulders. Before Karate, I felt like nothing and it gave me confidence to go out into the world, and I felt worthy. But I realised, that my worth is not dependent upon what I do, my worth is who I am. And if you make what you do, who you are, when it leaves you, you will be left with nothing.

When I meet people or read some blogs, I can tell who needs that type of validation and who doesn’t. And I just look at these people and I pity them. I can sense that yearn, that greed for greatness. But little do they know of the price that it comes with.

My black belt hangs on my cupboard handle. I think its been there, ever since I left. I never had the strength to put it away. To put that part of me away. Because I miss it. I miss my friends that I had, and the jokes we use to make, and the camaraderie that we felt. I miss that feeling of doing kata’s and doing it perfectly. There I was perfect, and strong, and brave. And here…I’m just me. But not matter what, I would not go back. I will not give up me…for anything!

I am still angry at him, because I feel like I had to give up so much and yet I'm still a failure. I think what must people think of me. But then I console myself with the fact, that he needed me, so that he could make himself look good. And now I do things because I want to, not because I'm forced to.

If you had to tell me 15 years ago, that I would have done karate and gotton my black belt as well as teach other people, I would have told you that your dreaming. And if you told me like 3 years ago that I would leave karate, I would have said your crazy. I never thought I would be one of those people who say “Oh ja, I use to do karate also” I always thought that I would do it until I’m old and wrinkly. But that is the beauty of life. Things happen that you cannot imagine in your wildest dreams. So with this blog, I pack away my belt. And I’m looking forward to the rest of my wild dreams.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Too Much

I’ve heard all sorts of remedies for writers block. Shopping, drinking lots of water, watching LOTR etc.

But what do you do when your brain will not switch off? I’m thinking of a thousand things per minute. I‘ve got so many ideas that my head feels like it’s going to explode. And I don’t want to stop thinking about them because I’m scared that I’ll forget them. Because sometimes I do forget them. Then remember them again. My fingers can’t type fast enough. It is at this moment where I wish I had those nifty tentacles like Doc Ock. Besides the whole taking over your body and turning you evil, it would really help me right now.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Fighting Scenes

Here is the list for my top 10 favorite fighting scenes.

Just bubbling under, is not really fighting scenes…but I think this was very cool

No12. Wanted – When Angelina is driving the car and picks the guy up

No11. 300 – When the queen is standing in front of the council and that guy accuses her. She pulls out a knife and kills him.

Now a good fight scene for me, is fluid and looks different to all the other conventions. The fight should be in context you can't have people in the 18th centaury England doing Kung-fu. But having aliens doing kinda cool. Get it?

No10. Bridget Jones Diary II – fight between Mark Darcy and Daniel Clever freak’n hilarious!

No9. Troy – Hector and Achilles

No8. Watchmen – Prison Fight scene

No7. Matrix 2 – When they go and look for the key maker, it’s a little long but I like the whole thing

No6. Matrix 2 - Trinity's fight (and yes I use the name because of her), it is a bit old…but still cool for me

No5. LOTR 1: Moria fight

No4. Transformers – Optomis Prime vs. Megatron

No3. POC 2 – The three way fight was brilliant

No2. The Mummy II – Nefertiri VS. Anck-su-namun. There are very few women vs. women fight scenes that are not all claws and hair pulling. This one is pure art.

And drum Roll please…..

No1. Spiderman 2: Spiderman vs Doctor Ock. I am sure there is better out there…but this for me is like a perfection from start to finish.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Because I love movies

Waseem said so...and I love movies, so I'm gonna do it...but this was very very difficult for me, so I have a general list...then I'm working on different types of lists, like best fighting scenes and so forth which will be coming soon...

This is in no particular order…well sort of...I think... its just really hard to choose.

  1. LOTR – All of them
  2. Spiderman 1 and 2
  3. Matrix – All of them
  4. How to loose a guy in ten days
  5. She’s the Man
  6. Rush Hour
  7. Pirates of the Caribbean – All of them
  8. Constantine
  9. Step up
  10. Amalie
  11. Jane Austin Book club
  12. Lady in the Water
  13. Bad Boys
  14. Money Talks
  15. Star Wars 2
  16. Star Dust
  17. The Wedding Date
  18. My Son the Fanatic
  19. Cosi
  20. House of Flying Daggers
  21. Troy
  22. Kingdom of heaven
  23. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
  24. Apocolypto
  25. Memoirs of a Geisha
Oi...and I forgot 10 000 BC, Speed..25 is too little!!

Monday, May 25, 2009

Should have’s

I should have listened to my mother. Always listen to your mother. When I didn’t get paid, I should have queried it then and there instead of leaving it. She told me to, but I didn’t listen; now this is my punishment. The stupid ass says that I was paid but my bank says no. With whole lotta O’s

I really hate this fucking capitalist society that we are forced to live in. Its like a constant David and Goliath struggle. You will always be fighting the MAN. And people will constantly be trying to screw you over.

My MA is about work. And all I really have come up with so far…is that no matter what you do, the capitalist cow's will always try and sell your soul, liver, kidney or whatever else they can get there hands on, and leave you with nothing. Somehow I don’t think it will go down too well with the Prof.

I do believe that sometimes we have to do what we don’t like, so we can afford to do what we like.

But it really sucks.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I wasn’t Tagged

But, I’ll do it anyway…Lessons I would give my Kids…umm lets see

1. Know that you live by the grace and will of the Almighty alone. Always be in remembrance of him

2. Always keep your failures close to you. So that you may always stay humbled by them.

3. Enjoy the fruits of your labour. If you win, enjoy it. But don’t live your life by it. But once its over, its over. Put away your trophy, or lock away your medal. No matter what colour it is. And carry on with your life as if you’ve never received it.

4. Do not ever underestimate your friends or enemies, and never turn your back on either of them.

5. Enjoy the Happy moments of your life with everything you have and always be thankful. And when sadness comes as it is sure to, be steady and patient.

6. Love people, but never make them your life. Love yourself, but never think your better than other people.

7. Nothing is what it seems - Know that Good and Evil always exists within people, while some might seem as if they are good, they have evil intentions, and others that do bad things, are actually good people. And it is not for you to judge but to be careful.

8. Always carry tissues and money with you

9. You won’t always get what you want, but you will get what’s best for you

10. Don’t follow trends… set them.

Monday, May 11, 2009


This is in response to MJ

Ø It was softer than I expected, yet harder than the other X-Men movies – I actually wish they made all the movies like this
Ø Um…sort of. I think he does the character well
Ø I like Ryan
Ø Don’t really have anything to say about the bone claw thing…but thought that the ‘evil’ guys abilities were freaking cool…cutting a bullet in half was my favorite part.
Ø I agree. But at least they always have cute guys that play him
Ø Gambit is the hond! I thought he was perfect! And they should have had him in all the other X-Men movies…instead of that pansy Bobby…though Bobby was cute!
Ø Will.I.Am – he made no impression on me
Ø LMFAO!!! So true
Ø I don’t know how else I would have given him amnesia, its sort of an easy way out, but it did flow with the story line.
Ø Didn’t sit through the credits…had to potty.
Ø Hell Yeah!
Ø Huh?
Ø Huh…again
Ø I didn’t even notice that
Ø What was missing?
Ø Don’t have a response to that so…When he is standing in the mirror looking at his new claws for the first time, it looked so fake…they need to retouch the movie before they release the DVD.
Ø Thanks MJ – I’m too lazy to think of my own observations.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

It's done

Well, I did it.

Instead of taking time to finish my thesis, I signed up on

And I have to say, that they have thought of everything. The way they structured the whole site is actually quite good…but any place that asks me what my weight is, does makes me a little sceptical. But I’ve done it none the less.

I was looking through the profiles, and I was shocked at how many “decent” men where looking for women to get married to. I’ve decided that I will be on there for one month. That’s it. But some how I have a feeling that I will get bored, sooner than that.

Looking through the site it made me realise a couple of things. When I was looking at the profiles, I was just looking at the cute guys. Which was extremely superficial of me. And, guys were probably doing the same thing to my picture. And there in lies the biggest problem with this site. In life nothing is what it seems. When I get to know someone, I don’t even see the outside. If you asked me, if someone that I admire or respect is cute or not I wouldn’t be able to tell you. Cute guys are nice to look at, but a man that can stimulate your mind and make you laugh at the same time?? Priceless and rare…or dead.

I also noticed that there is much more females than males and this got me thinking...if I was a guy how would I go about doing this? So if there is a guy that is reading this post, here’s my question…what’s it like being a guy? Is it like being a kid in a candy store? And I really would like to know.

So for now, I will talk to anyone, picture or no picture, from whatever country. And see what happens. One month…that’s all.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009


I am exhausted.

The amount of work that goes into an election is astounding. Its simple work, but I have to say I have never worked so hard in my life! I’m so glad its over but now I need to find another job ;(.

For the next two weeks at least I wont know the joy of rest, because of all the preparations going on at my neighbours house. Weddings are a joyous occasion, filled with hope, sparkles and fuck you’s flying all over the place*.

So I’m at the wedding house taking a machine out of the car and, lets call him Isa, is standing there watching me, so I finally get the courage to speak to him.

“Please help me” I say.
To which he answers “No” but still walks over to me to help
so I say “Just help me now!” in a joking way of course

then I say…and this is the cringe-worthy part…”you can’t fail me now” I realised what kak was coming out of my mouth, he said “what?” I said “never mind”, got the rest of the goods out of the car as soon as I could all the while not making conversation or eye contact and with him. It was at that moment that I realised...I am a freak and should not be let out of the house!!

Okay, to give some background, Isa is a teacher, he actually taught me in high school for like a millisecond and what I meant to say and the context was…just do what I say and you can’t fail me or anything like that because your not my teacher anymore. Some things should be left if my head at all times.

I kinda have a crush on him. And he makes me very shy…I feel like he is undressing me with his eyes. Why do guys do that? But don’t have the balls to come and actually have a normal conversation with you? Anyway…there was this one thing I noticed when I was handing him the machine he was like, taking it but like touching my hand…why the hell did he have to do that??? Now I can’t stop thinking about him.

Truth be told…I know it’s not real…and its stupid…but it’s funny.

*The women swear each other in jest while they working…its very funny.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Crashing Dreams

My dreams have just come crashing down on me.

I thought that I could use the Confederations cup as a practice run for the world cup.
For stalking that is. I wanted to find out how easy it would be to track down the international hunks of the football world, for this round concentrating on Italy and Egypt.

Finding out where they are staying, when and where they will be out and about checking out the sites of S.A. But alas, this dream of mine, just like so many others, will never be for-filled. I will not be in the country when the Confederations cup takes place and let me tell you, I am having serious bouts of regret.

My plan was to somehow find out where they are staying and wait for them outside the hotel. The whole stake out thing has always been a dream of mine ever since Beverly Hills cop. Anyway I would them follow them to a training session and wherever they were having supper or lunch and just conveniently bump into them at the restaurant (assuming it is at a restaurant) making as if I don’t even know who they were. Then I would say, “You look familiar” and he – whichever he it was – would just smile. Then I would have the realization and say, please can I take a picture. And because I was not really carrying on like a crazed fan, he would oblige. I would be composed, beautiful, cool and sexy, but inside I would really be dying.

I mean look at them…

Then...and this is the most important part. Because I was so composed and calm and sexy, he would say, “Marry me and I’ll say yes” And he’ll become Muslim if he is not and then we will live a happy, wag-alicious Muslim life.

The End.

This plan is too good to just give up right?

Well, guess I’ll just have to wait for the 2010 ;)

Thursday, April 2, 2009

To Muslima or not to Muslima?

That is the question.

I am very shy. It takes me a very long time to get comfortable with people. I mean I have known people for like 10 years and I am still not comfortable with just being me.

Anyway, I’ve been playing around with the idea of doing the whole cyber dating thing seriously with But what if someone that I know sees me on there? Are they going to say…look at that loser…she cant get anyone to like her she is so pathetic. And yes that is the worse case scenario. But then I ask myself…am I ready to get married? I mean really really ready…to get married? And my instinct is to say hell no and start running.

But there is something greater that is making me want to get married. I want to get married for the right reasons. For my religion and for a partner to share my life with. But getting there is what really irritates me.

There is a big part of me that believes that when God decides its time for me to married, I will meet my husband and we will just get married.

But then I think…the dreaded words… ‘what if’…and that’s where comes in. But can we really meet our partners on the web? I only know of one couple that actually got together and stayed together, but they not married.

To be honest, I have actually gone to cyber dating sites before and made a profile, just to see what I would get. I put a fake picture, but the real info, and obviously the picture is nicer than the truth. So I start talking to the guys that respond, a couple emails here and there, and it takes about two emails before they start being freaks. But is different, its serious stuff, so I would have to put a real photo and my real self. Can I really do that? Maybe I’m just a big scary cat ;( maybe I should just do it. What do you think?

Say I do it…then what?

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Time Warp

When I stepped into the elevator, I didn’t know that it was actually a portal into another world.

When I stepped out of the elevator it was like I walked into the 1970’s Apartheid South Africa. I had gone into the administration section of the public library. And it was something out of a dream. The brown and cream furniture with an Afrikaans radio station played in the background. Hardcover books filled the room, and the three white women who worked there sat at their tables writing out those cards…what do you call them again…its like an index in the library??? with the book and authors name on it??? Anyway, the librarians were dressed in those floral ensembles, with the big hair, and pink painted long nails. A white man sat in a brown office at his desk writing. I don’t think I even saw a computer.

That was by far the worst architecture and colour period of all time. That dull brown, cream and orange colour palate that makes me what to kill myself, that’s how depressing it is. But what was so strange is that in 2009, in an office in the public library, this little world seems to still exist. I was escorted by a black lady who worked at the front desk of the library. She insisted I come with her to ask Admin for toilet paper, because if she had to ask, she would be get into trouble.

Time really is strange; it can speed along for most. And for some, they can freeze it with that horrible brown furniture and paint. Really, the ‘new’ government should have saved all that money in re-naming places that already had okay names and spend it re-decorating the municipal buildings. Then maybe government workers would not be such sour assess.

Thursday, March 19, 2009


I really should sit down and just type up this damn thesis. Seriously, I should just do it. I mean my mind is filled with it. But every time I do, I find something more interesting to type up. I have a deadline by October and if I don’t hand in…they wont let me re-register. So this is it. Okay so here is the plan, after this constantly changing planned weekend is over. I’m gonna wake up early on Saturday and Sunday and just type thesis stuff.

Then once the election’s are over I’m going to go to Varsity and do all the literature stuff. And I’m typing this out and posting it on the blog, so that I am going to hold myself accountable. I miss school sometimes. If you don’t do something, you get a hiding, finish. Now if you don’t do something the consequences are much higher but the desire to do what you suppose to, is much less.

And I really do like Anthropology. I am an Anthropologist, despite what she might say. I sometimes believe it was what I was born to do. But then why do I find it so difficult to do? Because I live in fiction, that’s why. Its easier there, I can control things. If someone does or says things that I don’t want them to, I just change what they say. Real life, you cant do that.

But I need to be grounded. I need to grow up. Though I really don’t want to because all the adults are sick, festering beasts that think they know what’s best, but really are just fucking the whole world over. Okay not all adults. Oi…I am and adult* (gasp in realisation)! When did that happen? Well happy belated to me. I am now 24. Shocking.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Confession and Watchmen

After reading MJ, I have a confession of my own.

I actually didn’t read LOTR. I read the hobbit which got me interested and then bit of the Silmarillion.

The book that got me hooked on fantasy was The Magician by Raymond E. Feist. There are five books in the series, don’t remember all their names but, for me it was a true adventure to read them. I was able to completely loose myself in them.

There are a lot of similarities between Feist’s work and LOTR. When I first watched the movie LOTR, it was as if MY imagination of The Magician were being brought to life. Now some might say that Feist ripped off Tolkien, but I think it was more of an inspiration. I am still able to appreciate both of them for what they are. And LOTR movies is my favorite movies of ALL time.

It has occurred to me to that there is a greater movie vs. book debate…but for now…

Watchmen really did have too much nudity in it, and I could have so done without the sex scene. It was a movie that was made by boys for boys but I actually really liked it. It is not your conventional comic movie. I have to watch it again to be sure, but it has like different paces, its like when they started the movie that wanted to achieve something but as soon as they got to the middle they changed their minds. Fight scenes were good, and the shots and colours were very pretty, but the lesson from Max Payne was that just because something looks pretty doesn’t mean its going to be a worth watching. I really liked the clothes and the atmosphere they created. But my ever end was the naked blue man…and I didn’t realise until he was on Mars or wherever that his jiggly bits where out for like half the movie!!!

I like movies that bend my reality. And Watchmen does just that. It is unconventional and I am sure that reading it, is much better.

But it seems to me that the lesson here is to watch the movie for what it is. When we read we create the world our selves, we create expectations when we watch the movie, its our expectations that see the gallows.

No matter what movie makers do, they can never replace the human imagination. Because there, each person is the director, actor, gaffer, costume designer etc. There we can imagine it the way it was intended AND the way we want to and not focus on the bits that will sell movie tickets.

Friday, March 6, 2009

South African Lord of the Rings

“And what of the wizard?”
“I will break him”

On the walls that surrounds Gondor the Coloured Wizard watches, with white cavela’s on, and the side of robe tucked into his pocket of a three quarter pans and his hair in spikes with frosted tips

“Wie gaan jay breek? Ek steek jou nou in jou P*@# in!”

Wednesday, February 25, 2009


I hereby wish to retract my previous blog about Twilight.

I believe that when you’re wrong…you admit it.

My blog about the movie twilight was totally kak (bull shit).

After reading the book again and then reading all the other books I realised that they left soooo much out of the movie. I seriously don’t know how they are going to make the other movies. I have seen some snippets of New Moon and looks very pretty but I don’t know how they going to pull off the story line. But then again that’s what happens when they turn books into movies right?

I finished breaking dawn about two days ago…and I am still all Edwardy! I need to get out of it now, I’ve got a Masters to type up and time is against me. But I can’t stop thinking about the books!

I really did like them BUT you can see it was written by a girl or more accurately a mother. Breaking Dawn had the perfect build-up to a fight and then when it came down to it…she just let it go. I was very disappointed at that. She could have at least had them fight for like two minutes. They are all tough they could have survived! But is sounded to me like the story is not quite over and that if she wanted to, she could continue with the series.

Anyway time to get back to reality…what ever that means.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Aaaah Love….

It has begun…the incessant sale of Love. Everywhere you go…shops/stores everywhere have some type of Valentines Day offer. And I don’t have to state how annoying the, get-two-for-one specials are. To me all they are really saying is ‘T…your pathetic, you don’t have anyone who loves you and you never will (and your mother does not count)’ please note that I type this with a sarcastic keyboard.

Maybe my opinion is a bit tainted because I never had a valentine. I was the only person in school buying stuff and sending it to myself. And I could only afford one balloon, rose etc…so I couldn’t even give myself a nice v-day…LOL

But what I really find interesting is how some people go crazy over something that cannot be measured, held, touched, felt. And more importantly, you cannot prove that it exists. (and please don’t make the argument that believing in love is like believe in God. Because it isn’t!! God is beyond anything your brain can ever comprehend)

If someone came up to you and said ‘I love you’. And you had no feelings for them, what difference would it make to your life? But if someone you profess to love says the same thing, oh my word…the sun, the moon and the stars all stop and gaze at you. For you are the most shinny thing in the universe at that moment in time. Yet, just by saying it, doesn’t necessarily make it true. But whether it is true or not, the only person love really affects is the giver. Nothing happens to the receiver unless Love takes the form of objects, in that case the receiver gets stuff.

Yet, people are obsessed with Love. It surprises me how many people are interested in your love life. Even on the blog…you will get twice as many people commenting on a blog about broken or fixed hearts than you would an intellectually stimulating topic. Am I the only one who thinks that’s weird? Don’t get me wrong, I do it too…when someone writes about their relationship I read it with childish enthusiasm. Why? Maybe its because just listening or reading about a happy love story fills you up with…Hope. That one day…one day it will happen. People tend to idealise the concept of love making it into something that it is not. And the lack of it…makes us feel that we are not worthy.

Peoples lives have been changed, destroyed almost. All in the name of love. And here we are dedicating a whole day of wearing red and white to honour it?? I think we spend too much time worrying, thinking about something that really in its essence…is nothing.

All love is really good for is making fools of us all.

Thursday, January 8, 2009


I think that movies should either bend my reality, by showing me things that I could never imagine, or stick to what they know and follow the norm especially when it comes to “fantasy”.

The thing with vampires is that they not only have their own folklore or legends, they have folklore or legends within the entertainment industry as well. There are certain characteristics that viewers and readers have come to expect from a vampire. Buffy and Angel was my favourite version of the vampire and quite good shows in my opinion. Each book, show, movie that is about vampires always tries to take a different spin on the story. And so did Twilight.

I read the book first before I watched the movie. And I was surprised at how much I liked the book and that I actually finished it. (Academics have somewhat destroyed my ability to do light reading, so I tend to start a book but never finish it). The author’s vampire is uncomplicated and beautiful. Which is a throwback to the original version of the vampire, I think. Dracula who was good looking, dark, mysterious and hypnotising. But the shimmering skin in the book and the movie was a bit hard for me to swallow.

I think they did a very good job of the movie. I do understand that the main audience is teenagers so it has its moments of ‘simplicity’. I was able to really enjoy it without thinking that it was corny. Everyone that was cast fit the roles perfectly. And Edward is very cute.

I’m looking forward to reading the rest of the series and for the next movies to come out.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Beard or Beer Bottle

Whether it is the beer bottle you hold
Or the Beard you grow
You will stand
For 500 000 years
You will stand
In blistering heat
Waiting for judgement

Whether you point a gun for freedom
Or enslavement
You will stand
For 500 000 years
You will stand

I am not saying do not believe in the Mercy of your Lord
I am saying that it does not matter
Whether you believe
Or if you don’t
Because we will stand
For 500 000 years
We will stand and wait for judgement

So do not judge your brother
Whether he holds a bear bottle
Or grows a beard

But do not think you can point a gun
For whatever reason
And not be accountable
For we will all stand
Side by side
Waiting for judgement
By the Creator of all things