Friday, February 26, 2010

Top Movie Trailer list

I love going early to the movies to watch the trailers. Some trailers are even better than the movie. So I've put a list together of 15 of my favourite movie trailers. I tried 10, but I like extra 5 too much not to note it.

I judge a movie trailer on the ability to tell a story, the flow and its ability to make me want to watch the movie. Sorry if the quality is bit crap...did not have enough bandwidth to go searching for nice ones.

Number 15
Take the lead
I love this because it always makes me want to dance, in a way that other dancing movies have not. It has good story and flow.

Number 14
It has flow, imagination and excitement in the story

Number 13
Memiors of a Geisha
The flow and story is very good.

Number 12
The excitement and beauty of this trailer, always makes me want to watch the movie. Even though the movie was good, but not as good as the trailer.

Number 11
Fame 2009
Some people didn’t like the movie, but I did. Not your conventional dance movie, this trailer shows emotion in a good flow.

Number 10
The movie is a legend, and so is the trailer. It gives me goose bumps even though some of the fighting stunts look fake!

Number 9
17 again
Every time I watch this I laugh. It has the story, the flow and humour.

The next couple of trailers, I think I’ve watched the movie at least 20 times. But every time I watch the trailers I get excited and want to watch the movie again.

Number 8
This has action, story, flow and goose bumps.

Number 7
The look of this always makes me want to move to the Mediterranean coast. I just love it.

Number 6
Kingdom of heaven
This always makes me want to learn more about Jerusalm and its history. Its Beautiful.

Number 5
Peter Pan
This brings back my childish need for adventure. The song made this trailer, but the humour gave it substance.

Number 4
Pirates of the Caribbean
This gives me adult adventure vibes. The flow and story is amazing.

Number 3
The Mummy 3
For me the movie did not make a huge impact. It was nice, but as far as I’m concerned, The Mummy ended at 2. The reason this is at number 3, is because I think the creators did an excellent job, of giving the viewers the story, flow, adventure and excitement of the first two. At the same time hiding all the changes, including the new actress that played Eve and the annoying older son. Lesson number one for sequels. ALWAYS keep the original cast. Even if they die. Bring them back…just like Jack!

Number 2
Chronicles of Narnia 2
I love Prince Caspian. He is so cute. Besides that, it captures the action, adventure, drama and makes me want to watch it again and again.

This might not surprise some, but for others….

Number 1
Spiderman 2
In the trailer, it shows that the story is taken to a whole new level. Action, adventure, story, flow, excitement. This has it all!

This does not feature in my list but I just like looking at it...why? Because I liked the books, and the trailer is closer to the book, than the movie, and the movie is quite close. It has great flow as well.

New Moon

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Happily Ever After

Looking for a spouse through internet dating is like looking for shells on a beach in the morning. There are hundreds of them, all interesting and pretty, some are crab parts that look like shells, but there are only a few that really catch your attention.

If you type Muslim dating websites on Google, you will find thousands of sites and if you leave the Muslim part out, you will find even more, that advertise you finding your soul mate. There are sites to meet millionaires, disabled people, married people and if you have any other fetish, I’m sure it’s out there somewhere in cyberspace.

As I looked for my shells, I found myself on the internet constantly. I was sick of staring at a computer screen but I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to see who showed interest in me or who sent me messages. But after a couple of weeks all the interaction died down (which I expected). And when I logged on and saw no action, I was disappointed. For the first time I realized the allure of ‘dating’. It was exciting to meet new guys, who were completely different to the last one I spoke to. And the international guys always had the best stories. The high of finding ‘the one’ was much more exciting than actually finding him. Which left me with a very big question, can you really find a partner on the internet?

The thing is that your profile is one dimensional. It’s no better than a piece of paper with information or stats on it. A person’s height, weight, ethnicity (which they even have mixed as an option, whoo hoo for the mixed breeds!!) is placed on view in an attempt for people to find a common ground which might spark interest and then conversation. To add to the statistics the description of yourself, so that it can help the reader find out more about you and the description of what you’re looking for, to describe your intentions on the site, try to give a better picture of who you are. All good and well…in theory.

The whole idea of a Muslim woman looking for a husband denotes a certain level of desperation in ‘modern’ society. If she is seen on a website, it complicates things even more because in Islam, women are not suppose to be put on ‘display’. And there is no bigger display than on the internet. It is this idea that I think is the major reason for many of the girls that are on the dating sites, (especially to not to complete their profile, leaving only essential details, and not adding a picture to their profile. The problem with this is that males are highly visual creatures. If they don’t see it, they don’t believe it. And if they do talk a girl without a picture, it’s because he has talked to all the girls with pictures already and lost interest or he already made a picture of the faceless girl in his head from the information that she gave.

The guys are no better. Women tend to be less visual. I am not saying that women are not lured by good looks. All the good looking guys I saw, I showed interest in, even if they didn’t speak English. But in reality I knew that that was more of an indulgence than a possibility. Most of the time us women tend to rely on the description of the man. Men, especially in South Africa don’t fill in all the detail that they should, especially who they are, and what they are looking for. Some men (mostly international) show how much they earn, which I have to relate to some primal instinct of theirs to demonstrate that they can take of the girl (which I actually find sweet). And if they do put a description down, they spend three sentences describing themselves and the rest of the 20 describing what they want. And the WORST mistake of all that guys make, is in writing…I’m looking for a beautiful girl. Some release how shallow this sounds and add both inside and out. Now gentleman. Please take my advice today. If EVER a woman responds to something like this, she is saying one of two things. She is either conceited and thinks that she is beautiful (which in my experiences means that she actually looks the opposite) or she wants you to think that she is beautiful, but in reality she knows it’s a lie. So you have a choice between a girl who is conceited or a liar. Mmm…which one will you choose?*Sarcastic tone*

In both cases, this is very bad. Because as humans we are multifaceted and a person’s perception is rarely ever reality. What is beauty anyway? Is it not defined by the eye of the beholder? Put that together with the fact that people are not honest to themselves let alone to other people, the situation can become very complex.

We use a one dimensional description to describe something that is multidimensional. The reader often uses his or her own experience to interpret what they are seeing and reading. For example, they use their own scale to define what is beautiful or what is ‘good’, in the I want a good person description. But it does not matter how much description you give or how many questions you answer. Nothing can prepare you for seeing someone’s manners. A girlfriend of mine described this guy who was prince charming on the phone, but once she went out for coffee with him, he was untidy. Messing sugar all over the table and being rude to the waitress. This to her was a big no no, because she valued respect and manners higher than anything.

Likely, all my meetings have not been that bad, but paying for the coffee as well as giving the guy a lift back to his house, in my book is a huge no no. Not because I didn’t sympathize with his broke situation, but because I think if you really liked a girl, you would not want her to know things like that about you. Needless to say, I haven’t found a partner yet. But, I have learned a lot about guys and people in general.

The one thing I learned is that as a Muslim, we are very aware that nothing happens without the will of the Almighty. I know someone who never went anywhere in his whole life. He would always sit at home, with his father. And how did he meet his wife? She moved in, next door to him. So the whole putting yourself out there thing…in my opinion (while it can be fun at times) is a lie. If you are meant to get married, you will. It will not happen a second earlier or later than God wills it to.

So after all that, I ask again. Can you find a partner in internet dating? I think yes. The key is how we go about doing it. Here is a couple of things that I learned:

  1. Always fill in every single inch of the questions that are posed by the site. They do it for a reason. Trust them.
  2. HONESTY. No sense is filling your profile with a lies.
  3. For women, put the best picture you have on the internet. Besides the pouting sex kitten. Don’t worry about your neighbor’s aunties, cousin that might see you and think you desperate. The world is a different place than it was a couple of years ago, and this might be safer than accepting any creep that gives you his number in Mr. Price.
  4. For Men, DO NOT say you want a beautiful woman! Describe qualities that you think is beautiful. And if you want someone that is physically beautiful, then describe those too. And good luck with that. Two seconds on your shelf, and both you and her will be fishing in the married and looking sites, oh and keep the what your wearing questions for after the wedding
  5. Look at your profile and ask yourself, if this had to be an opposite sex’s profile, would you take the time to read it? Would you be interested?
  6. Meet as quickly as possible. If you chat to someone nice on Monday, meet them the Saturday, and if they can’t make it. Move on. Because your imagination will run away with you, and any chance s/he might have had is lost. Because no one can compete with your imagination.
  7. Ladies…always take someone with you no matter how big his beard is. Get them to sit at a table in eye sight of you, and try not to show that you know them. No decent guy would like to know that he is being watched by your uncle. If you don’t have a guy you can trust, take more than one girlfriend. Never let your date see what car you drive. Once your date is over… have a meeting spot with your friends, walk around awhile, then leave. MOST importantly…pray, and always trust your instincts.
  8. This one is difficult, but NEVER give all your contact info. Don’t give your facebook, gmail chat, cell number, email and home number. That’s just stupid. Choose one, and only give your number right before you meet. If they find you on FB without your permission. Accept, then block as soon as possible. You can always explain, and unblock at a later stage. Besides no one likes a stalker, and with FB’s new settings, they can add all your friends, before you get a chance to get to know the freak in them, and you blocking them will not help, because they can ask your friends about you, without you knowing.
  9. I don’t like the idea of lying about your name. I feel like, I liked a Muhammed, I want a Muhammed, not an Ebrahim. Simple solution for FB stalking…don’t sign up with your surname.
  10. Don’t try and find your husband or wife. Get to know the person. And then decide if this person will be a good partner for you. Because often, our idea of what is good for us, and what really is good for us is different. Physical chemistry, how you feel when your around that person…comfortable, excited, disgusted…is what counts 90% of the decisions we make. Even if we don’t admit it.

In life, you just never know. For years and years, you can go on, doing the same thing and then one day your life has changed forever. The key thing I think is to make sure that you are okay. Think of it this way, would you walk into a shop and buy something that is broken? No you wouldn’t. No matter how beautiful it is. It is the same thing with people. Nobody wants someone who is broken. People go through shit every day, its what makes us strong, unique even. But you want to know that the person your interested in has learned from his hardships, and is not defined by it. If your still hurting, if your still broken. Fix yourself before you go and look for a wife or husband. In my experience you get exactly what you are.

So from all the guys I have attracted, the one thing I have learned is that I need to fill my kitchen, before I go and invite people for supper.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Kissing all the Frogs

I realized that in order to really do this, I would have to utilize more than one website. Just to see what would the response would be like on each of them and if they were different. Within three days of uploading my profile I got quite a few responses. Questions like where do you live, where do you work, and what do you do for fun, I have answered until I am blue in the face. If I never have to answer these questions again, I will be the happiest person on earth!

The guys, who did respond to my profile, were actually quite normal decent guys. There were a lot of IT and Finance guys who made me wonder…do they not get enough work to do? Because most of them are online during the day. They seemed to like the same things I liked, adventure, Lord of the Rings, food. And I even scored an intellectual conversation here and there. But then, after getting to know each other for an hour, they go right for the jugular… “So why are you here?” First I thought, boy! Do you not read? It’s right there in black and white. But I answered “I want to get married”.

The second dreaded question “So what do you want in a husband”, my answer was simple…someone who is a partner, not a father or son. Someone who I can live my life with. Someone who deals with his shit and does not bring it to my door. Oi…and then the other shoe dropped.

Mr. Software constantly told me that he was spoiled with love. What the fuck does that mean? Was what I wanted to ask him. When we met it was one of the most painful experiences of my life. He just stared at me, and I was so nervous, I was asking him all kinds of questions to get over the awkwardness and he just gave one word answers. Mr. Web, was not only mature in age and intellect, but was also married, for a very short time. Found out his ex-wife was pregnant and has been trying to get custody of the son, which he didn't know if it really was his, from his neglectful mother and psycho new husband. Mr. Dimple was a very sweet guy…but he was shorter than me, which I found out only when he made the effort *which he got two gold stars for* to come and meet me at a place where he never would have went to. But the incessant talk of his fiancĂ©’s excessive spending habits, and ultimately the eventual crushing of his heart with her stilletoe heal that he paid for, really put a dampen on things. He kept on telling me all the things he had ready for his wife…she would be lucky, her own house and stuffs…but she won’t travel anywhere. Mr. Dubai floored me when he asked for my number and hit my breath out, when he actually called…twice.

But my favorite was Mr. Smooth, a widower with two small kids. He was everything I wanted on paper. And to top it all off, he was funny. I realised that I could really fall for this guy…*cue mills and boon story line with a happy ever after and me being called mummy*. While in the fantasy, this would be possible, the reality was completely different. The reality was, I couldn’t be second best to my husband. And when kids are involved the rules are different and they always come first. And I would never ask a father to make such a sacrifice. I expressed this to him to which he replied, that he might have been 99% of what I was looking for, after that answer I was 100% what he was looking for. But that he understood and I haven’t heard from him since.

I was upset, and even wondered if this guy was ‘the one’. Then I remembered what I always said about ‘the one’. That it didn’t exists, it was a dream we made ourselves believe. And then I also realized that Mr. Smooth would obviously show me only his best side. And so would the others. But what stared at me in the face was that the broken side of them, the side that came with baggage was unavoidable and even to a certain extent intensified because of the internet. And its the partners brokeness that could be the breaking point of the realationship...
To Be Concluded…

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Love in the Rinse cycle

February, the month of love.
How magical, how seductive, how effen stupid.

Since I was 16 years old, there was always one question that would have crushed my chillie if I had one. ‘So do you have someone special?’ It didn’t take me long to realise that one, everyone wants to know about your love life and two, if you didn’t have one, there was something wrong with you. Even though you were muslim, and you were not suppose to have a boyfriend because it was haraam. People, even the older ones would want to know.

The world was divided into to groups. Those with ‘someone special’ and those without. As 2010 started, I felt daring, adventurous almost and decided that before someone asked me, if I had someone special, I would try and put my self ‘out there’, as I’ve been told a million times. FYI, between studies, sports and family obligations, I didn’t have time to go out and meet new people, because the free time I had I was catching up on things like sleep and movies.

So I started internet dating. For real this time. *grasp* yes internet dating. I did play around with the idea before. But I lost interest. Now I was serious.

Hey, don’t look at the screen like that, I was not desperate. I was curious. I decided to be as honest as possible. I was there to find a partner (male) to get married to and life my life with. I filled in every question muslima asked me and even put a real photo of myself. Your allowed to *grasp* now. And then I thought, what if someone I knew saw me? What are they going to think? That I’m so pathetic, that I cant meet anyone and now I’m desperate to get married? Then she told me, why do you care? If that’s what they think, then why are they on the site looking at you? I felt a little better, but then I thought, what if someone I don’t like sees me. So I decided to put a reason to my madness and decided that I would actually do a paper on Love.

And use my internet dating experiences to see if love can really be found in this medium. This is why I decided to tell as many people as I could that I was internet dating. That way if they saw me on some site, it would not be a surprise to them. Most people did exactly what I thought they would. They had shock, then pity, then a smile on their faces when I told them it was for research.

I will not lie, I had my own preconceived notion on what to expect. Freaks I knew I would get, but honestly I hoped that I would actually find my soul mate there. The good thing about it, is that everyone on muslima, knows why everyone is there. The goal is marriage. That is the standard, so if you are there for just a random fling, it’s strange. In the ‘real’ world, the norm is to look for a fling, to say your looking for a wife or husband is strange and most of the time actually scares the other person off.

So there I was, in full view of the internet world, I told both my parents and they could not have been happier. I was excited…and scared...what if I actually got what I was looking for?

To Be Continued…

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Things that guys should not wear

I'm into the whole, guys being metrosexual.
Or just looking after themselves as they put it.

I'm down with manicured hands, facial creams and even sparkling white tekkies.


Ed Hardy
Pink Shirts
Skinny Jeans
Big Belts
Pointy shoes
Styled hair

Should not be all done together! I can handle it if a guy wears one of the above...but when they wear all of it?

They look horrible!