Tuesday, June 21, 2011

"You wanna sow oats? Become a Farmer"

I’ve been blaming fairy tales for a while now.

They make us believe that a Prince will soon come and save us. That happily ever after is possible. And that if we are good we are beautiful. This essentially becomes the foundation of our love lives or lack thereof. And ultimately one of the biggest disappointments in a girl’s life.

But then I thought, wait a minute. Where are the boys in this? Were they not in the same class as us in primary school? Did they not listen to the same stories that we did?
They were there, when the evil witch tried to destroy the beautiful young princess, and when the prince rode on his white horse and saved the princess...the boys participated in the collective sigh at the end of the story.

So my question is...where the hell did men get the whole afraid of commitment thing???
Essentially, men and women both learn the same things when they are young. You have to grow up, get a nice job, don’t make or come home pregnant and then you can get married, have children and live happily ever after. And more so for a Muslim Man.

As Muslims we are taught that getting married completes half of your faith...the other half, well that’s in your hands.

And yet today guys are like ‘I don’t want to get married and I don’t want to get tied down’....I’m like WTF??? Where the hell did you get that from??? Nothing about your upbringing, both in ‘western knowledge’ or religious teachings ever told you anything about ‘playing the field’ or ‘sowing your oats’. You wanna sow oats? Become a farmer.

Everything about the human condition, the nature of who we truly are, is embedded in our ability to connect with each other. The anti-social people have their own special place. It’s called a mental institution and there is a reason for that. If we cannot connect, we die. Literally. New born baby’s without human contact die, no matter how healthy they are.

But the other side of this coin is that some people take this need for connection to an extreme. So they try connecting to lots of people, because the more they connect, the more they crave the connection. And it doesn’t live up to their expectations so they think the next connection is going to be better and it isn’t.

I would like to meet a real life, Samantha Jones that is happy with her life, who she is and her choices and all of this before she watched or knew about Sex and the City. Because let’s face it, people see things on TV and think they can do it in real life. There should have been a warning: please don’t try this at home, before Sex and The City started.

People....let us remember one thing....Samantha Jones is a FICTIONAL CHARACTER. In other words she does not exist. Maybe parts of her are based on a real person, but parts does not a real person make. Okay that sounded better than it looks, but anyway the point is that she is not real. Neither is Carrie or any of the other girls. And it makes me really wonder when people name fictional characters as their hero. *shaking head*

As for the whole 'men can just zip up and walk out' this is false. I know men, who cheated on their wives for years and they are as empty as any women in their position. Maybe it takes longer for the emotions to kick in for men than women...but the Lord sees all. And the day will come, when that belt that they've been making notches on, is used to hang themselves. Because they end up feeling empty and alone just like the women.

I think we should stop looking at how different men and women are and start realising that we are more alike than we are different. Because we are all human, we all need the same things to survive. Maybe we just don’t get it in the same way.

If there is a high divorce rate, it means one thing. There is a higher marriage rate. More people are getting married than getting divorced. Which means as much as men sit on their ‘I don’t want to get married' horse. What they don’t realise is that, that horse is white. And as much as women are waiting to be saved, they are waiting to save them.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

I have a new boyfriend....

And his name is Thor!

I was not familiar with Thor and I’m actually glad about that. I watched the movie with fresh eyes. I enjoyed the movie though it was nothing extra ordinary. As for the character, the taming of the cocky beautiful man is not really one of my favourite story lines for a superhero, but this one has changed me. The casting gets five stars from me. It was a good introduction for the Avengers. Which is probably the most anticipated Marvel movie...ever. Well for me anyway.

In the meantime...he makes me smile.

Okay drool....

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Bad Girl

I'm a bad bad girl.

I really am.

Why can't I just leave well enough alone!!!

I just get myself into situations.

Give me Fiction!

I hate real stories. It’s so depressing. When I read a book, I want to be transported to another dimension. I want to believe that the impossible is possible, that perfection is normal and that happy endings occur.

South African fiction for me tends to be too real. Too depressing. Apparently Spud is good, but the last time I listen to someone, about an SA book I was sorely disappointed.

There is something about Fiction. You wonder about every character, every word and what part of the writer is hidden in them. That is the best thing about fiction for me. Science Fiction , Action, Romance...all of it. It is very difficult for a good writer not to write pieces of themselves in their work. “Write what you know”, I heard that in movie or somewhere before. It makes sense to me.

I believe that a writers emotions should be real, the events does not really need to be. And you can sort figure out, which writer writes of pain but has not really been in love.

I went to a presentation once where a Professor in History was delivering a paper about memory and fiction in History. Basically he was asking how much of what we remember is fictionalised and how much is real, and how can Historians tell the difference.

The first rule in ethnography is that the researcher is as much part of the story as the informants. And this I think is a very important part in storytelling. You cannot really tell a ‘truthful’ story. Not really, because your version of the truth and the other participants will be different. Because we don’t all understand the same emotions the same way. Therefore, you can never really write non-fiction biography of your life. How do we as the readers know that the writer is not bending the truth? Because it is very difficult to write without letting the work take you where it needs to go.

I don’t like non-fiction. I accept Historical accounts with a whole spoonful of salt and everything else to me (besides academic work) is a version of fiction. It’s just people won’t admit to it.

Give me Fiction! Let me dive into the words; let it transport me to adventures beyond my imagination! Let me dream! *sigh*

But you see the problem is that fiction killed us.

Instead of us watching fiction and thinking, ‘wow, can you imagine if life was really like that’ we thinking to ourselves ‘wow, that is actually possible’.

When did this happen? When did fiction become reality? While I love fiction and I think it has the ability to show us reality in a way that we never seen before, I do not for one second think any of it is actually really possible.

Fiction has ruined us to a great degree. We have lost touch with what is real, normal and in the moment. While I love to fly off to Never Never land, the truth is when I get back; there are dishes for me to wash. There are rooms that need to be cleaned. Life needs to be lived.

I took the name Trinity, because I loved the character Trinity in the Matrix. But I look at fiction differently now so I’ve changed my name on the blog. I will always love fiction, but I think I’ve realised that we can get too caught up in it, and not live real life.