Lost in translation…because you lose the plot

Everyone has their own way of writing. Some use humour, sarcasm, similes, whatever to create a specific style. The style is their brand, what makes them unique.  But not everyone can do it. I have read many books, which I don’t even remember because the langue or the imagination of the writer is much like the next one. It doesn’t stand out to me.  

When I read an opinion or a social commentary whether in a blog, email, article I am very critical. Two words “reference” and “justify” has been ingrained in my mind. Every time I read something I ask myself, how do you know this? What does that mean? This can make me very anal and I’m sure this post is going to make me sound preachy.

For a while now I’ve been saying that people are saying a lot but they fail to “make an argument”. I get that I approach it from an academic point of view, but hear me out.

Understanding is often based on many things, intellect, experience, age. When a reader comes to a piece of writing they bring with them their whole selves, their whole world to the table, and interpret and understand from their point of view.

Now is it the writers fault that the reader can’t understand? No. You have to write in a way that is true to yourself, I get that. BUT, it is your responsibility to make sure what you are writing is understandable. Keep your audience in mind; though don’t only write for their pleasure. It’s a delicate balance.  

So what is the point of this whole thing? If you going to comment on real life social issues, I suggest you learn how to do it. There is a reason “the pen is mightier than the sword”. You are accountable for your words.

For the writers

“MAKE AN ARGUMENT!!!” An argument in academic work is not a bad thing. It basically means, make a point with justifications. You can’t say “the sky is blue” you have to say “I’ve experienced the sea, therefore the sky is blue”. Now when you don’t do that, people make their own assumptions as to why you are saying “the sky is blue”. And their own assumptions will contradict your conclusion and miscommunication occurs.
Don’t use big words if it doesn’t come naturally to you. You just come across as a pompous asshole. And yes readers can tell.

Use sarcasm and humour with great caution. My funny and your funny are very different.

Spelling and grammar is something that I totally suck at. But if you don’t use this right, meaning is lost.

For the Readers

Walk a mile in the writer’s shoes. Yes, you have different experiences but try and understand what the writer is saying before you go shooting off your fowl mouth (Yes I have done this before). That is why I can tell you, read to understand “the argument”. Don’t get side tracked by the sparkle of the examples. Sometimes they don’t make sense to you because you don’t have the background to understand it.

I just read a blog that is perfect example of how people just loose the plot. She is talking about a subject, using examples to explain. The critics all get so caught up on the subject that the POINT of the article is completely lost. And they come off sounding like Dicks. If they did have a valid critique it’s lost among the bull shit they sprouting.

Be critical not RUDE. If you disagree, say so but with respect. And then justify your argument! State why you are critical - give evidence, even if it’s a made up example.

If you don’t understand, ask. Don’t respond to something you are not clear on!

This is specifically for serious social issues that are being discussed. I don’t like saying nasty things on peoples blog’s because I feel like it’s their personal space, but if you want to be critical about any of my stuff, go ahead. Just remember…make an argument!

Henry Cavill - Just because :D

The type of wife I want to be

The advantages of being single is you get to think about things.

I've been asked on more than one occasion, "so what are you looking for?" I assume this means in a spouse, otherwise I would have said "peace and lots of money". And then I think for a second, and I come up with the silly things that you think about, kind, funny, honest, stable. But the one question no ones seems to ask, is "What type of wife are you going to be?"

Its so easy to look for what you want, how you can get it, but to ask what are you willing to give and how will you give it is much more challenging.

I want to be the type of wife that allows my husband to be himself. As stupid, arrogant and loving as he wants to be. I want to be the type of person that will be okay with whatever or whoever he is. I don't want to nag! I hate when wives nag it kills me, and I'm female! I want to be the type of wife that he listens to, misses when he is away and behind my back tells his friends how awesome I am.

I don't want to tell him how to behave in public, to eat his food (Yip, true story) or what to wear, but if he wants me to take out his clothes for him I could do it on occasion. I want to be the type of wife, that if he is watching soccer, playing fifa or trolling through techie sites I can go and read and not have to tell him that we not spending enough quality time together.

I want to be the women that inspires him to be a better man. To be his best friend.

I'm sure he will irritate me, but I want to be the type of wife that can tell him so and have him want to better himself because HE wants to do it. Not because I force or emotionally or sexually blackmail him.

That being said, a man who does not have his Shit together, will not be able to have this type of relationship. Because if I'm not going to be needy and clingy he just might be. As the wife I want to be, so too would I like a husband that is the same.  

I don't need a husband who praises me everyday. I was not born in a family that did that. So I will either not believe him, or it will irritate me. But I want to inspire in him, the need to every now then tell me how much he loves me and that I was the best decision he made.

I don't need a husband to support me financially. But I want him to. At least to know that he will look after me, and have it be my decision that we work together.

I want us to be able to live my life with my husband. Not create a world that should either of us not be there, we would fall into pieces and question the very existence of God because of our own failings.

If he sees a beautiful women, he must feel free to come to me and say 'wow...this chick is hot. But will not flirt with her, not out of respect for me, but out of respect for her because he doesn't want to lead her on. Because he treats all women with respect no matter who they are. And if she does flirt with him, he must ignore her because I am enough for him.

Who we are should not be based on the other person. But they should inspire us to do better, be better and feel loved even if we don't succeed.

Sounds like a fairy tale doesn't it? After all you don't always get what you want.

And they all lived Happily Ever After

Helllooooo sneaky geeky that can sing & rap

I haven't met a person who watched Pitch Perfect that didn't like it. For the pop culture, bubble gum, high school/college type movies, this is the best I've seen in a long, long time. Killer music, even better dancing and a kick-ass comedian is a recipe for complete success. and in my house that means that the lines will be referenced non-stop. And the dance moves to be committed to memory for future dance sessions.

 

 

This movie even changed my taste in men. I have a huge crush on Donald aka Utkarsh Ambudkar *sigh*. Never did I think that I would like that whole geeky-kinda-cool-lanky-type. When he raps in this final scene...I'm like...okay...yes *hearts and butterflies* sure...no problem *big smile*.

 

 

 

I can't wait to see if they make a MTV awards appearance.

 

Having unique characters, no matter how small part they play in a movie, just takes it to a whole different level. Its one of the things that I think makes a good movie.

Reluctent Feminist - Again!

Every time I go against Feminism and make arguments to people as to why I am not a feminist, I get put into a situation that makes me re-think that statement.

I had an argument once with a most beloved cousin of mine. He argued with me, stating that women need to take control of their lives and the reason women are where they are is because they don’t go and educate themselves and take their rights. I found myself saying out loud “the reason the women are where they are is because of men”

Oops…yip I said it. I am a reluctant feminist.

This story right here is the reason I say that women are not allowed to be educated and in charge of their lives because men make it so.

A facebook post in one of the groups I follow stated:

A very sticky situation:

A sister reverts to Islam and then marries a Muslim born brother who comes from an immigrant background. After few years in stressful marriage, two children or more and irreconcilable differences she decides to leave. He does not support her financially and is not willing to accept wrongdoing on his part. She tries with every Imam in the community to help her out and get Khu'l or divorce from him but they all avoid taking her case. Now she got the civil divorce but no Imam is willing to give her the Islamic documentation of the divorce.

What is your take on this? How should we as a Muslim community deal with a case like this one?

And then I read the comments. It took me a while to calm down. Like a couple of weeks.  And so I answered:

I read through this post and some comments and I have to say I am shocked. Words like “sbar” “mediation” “One side of the story” really got me upset and I had to wait awhile before commenting so that I could be calmer. I will try to be as brief as I possibly can:

“A hadeeth narrated by al-Bukhaari in his Saheeh (4867) from Ibn ‘Abbaas, in which it says that the wife of Thaabit ibn Qays came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, “O Messenger of Allaah, I do not blame Thaabit ibn Qays for any defect in his character or his religious commitment, but I would hate to commit an act of kufr when I am a Muslim.” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Will you give him back his garden [which he had given as mahr]?” She said, “Yes.” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said (to Thaabit), “Accept the garden, and divorce her once.”

Please note, the Prophet (SWA) did not tell her “be patient”, he did not ask for “the other side of the story” he did not request for them to go through “mediation”. If she didn’t want to be with him, she had to give back her dowry and he had to release her.

It does NOT matter what the other side of the story is. The fact is, she is a Human Being, a Muslim and she just happens to be female and has every right to decide how to live her life. Yes divorce is not something to be taken lightly, but by her seeking a divorce on several different occasions its evidence enough that she is taking it seriously.

This is not a discussion on whether or not the divorce is valid or warranted or not, but whether women in Islam have the right to make choices about their lives. Whether her reasoning is logical or not, she has a right to choose how to live her life and her husband, Imams and everyone else needs to respect that.

Generally I don't like commenting I feel like, its your opionion who am I to impose on that...but for this I could not keep quite. It seems that through out the comments, what she wanted was just ignored and reduced, to her obligation to her children and husband and religion. I am not saying that divorce should be granted for every women who doesn't like her husband at some point in time. But this like all else in this world it seems what women want for themselves is just forgotten.

I see all these women's programmes that are so successful and so many people attend, but pray tell why is every single one of those programmes given by men? What about the women? Why are women not advising other women? Do we not have the intellect or knowledge to do so?

I would like to point out one thing, if she was a man, he would have been granted the divorce, NO ONE would have told him to “sabr” or seek “mediation” or wonder about “the other side of the story”. Because you are given the responsibility of divorce does not mean that you should not be questioned about it, and more importantly, does not mean you should not give it when it is being requested. No matter how hard it may be.

Really I think this “boys club” mentality of the Imams needs to come to an end. And remember that they are custodians of knowledge and not protectors of male brotherhood. You are not taking the side of the women; you are taking the side of what is right. Let the women decide how to live their lives, just like you allow the men to. 

I don’t like the concept of feminism. I don’t like the whole idea of a movement that gives women more work to do.

Something occurred to me. Men should love feminism. This allows for them to be helped financially, it takes the whole “family responsibility” off their shoulder for the mere price of changing diapers and washing dishes every other day. Men are given the choice to be more relaxed, more sensitive and have someone there to share the responsibility with. Really, I don’t get why men are not more for it.

http://www.understanding-islam.com/q-and-a/social-issues/wanting-divorce-for-no-reason-9186

Getting back up again

Falling off the "Diet" Wagon is the worst thing that can happen!

Its worse than starting. I fell off the wagon and just laid there while it dragged me along. Starting a new job, having to travel early in the morning...'those were just the first steps' in leading me astray.

So here is what I learned.

1. Once you have decided to do something, the world is going to conspire against you (yes I disagree with Paulo completely). Because as long as you feel bad about yourself, weak and like a failure the dark side wins.

2.  Things don't just happen. There is an introduction of sorts. Mine was turing my "healthy lifestyle" into a "Diet". What was a slow steady marathon turned into a race that I lost, when my purpose changed.

3. This is about me being healthy. And feeling healthy. NOT looking like a matchstick. I hope I remember that!

4. This is a slow steady marathon. Its going to take a year. So I need to just calm down!

5. Doesn't matter what you eat. Its not going to make the feelings go away.

6. Doesn't matter if you 'slip' a 'slip' is not a fall. Don't turn it into one.

7. It is really this simple: (they should have added takes time)

Dreams, Shadows and Me

Its annoying really.

Feeling something, knowing something but not really understanding if what you know or feel is real.

Is it a dream? A shadow? An evil plot to make you weak? Make you break. Make you want and stay in wanting and waiting and pining.

Whatever evil created it, then damn them. Damn them to hell and back. Because this feeling is not something I would wish on anyone.

I just wish I knew. Is it me? Or something else. If I knew I would wait in silence. But not knowing makes me stir crazy. Is it a dream? A shadow or just me?

Then I move, any way I can just so that I don't stand still. But as I move, I move further and further away from you. And I panic...what if it was right? What if....

Then I turn back and I miss you all over again.

Asshole!

But is it Art?

I think so.

Here is a collection of my work.

The lovers -

Love is often a tangled web. One that only the lovers can understand. This was influenced by a real conflict of emotions that both started and ended in love.

                                         

Behind the Rainbow - 

Inspired by the complete lack of joy we have in this world. The lines and colours represent what we see in nature is exactly what we see in our minds. 

Contraction

This was by far the most difficult piece for me to do. It symbolises the real plight that normal people face. Everyday. The process of creating this was both cathartic and quit disturbing.

The eye of "Sauron"

Inspired by the minimalist approach with a contemporary spin. The eye of "Sauron" s ever watchful. This was really fun to make.

Fear

I went to a really dark place to create this. I had to dig deep. A deep place that exists in all of us.

Sorrow

I wasn't sure if such negative emotion should be allowed to be brought out, but once it was I was pleasantly surprised at the outcome.

Originals sell for $2000 - $10 000 each. Download is free. Please contact me for more information.