The advantages of being single is you get to think about things.
I've been asked on more than one occasion, "so what are you looking for?" I assume this means in a spouse, otherwise I would have said "peace and lots of money". And then I think for a second, and I come up with the silly things that you think about, kind, funny, honest, stable. But the one question no ones seems to ask, is "What type of wife are you going to be?"
Its so easy to look for what you want, how you can get it, but to ask what are you willing to give and how will you give it is much more challenging.
I want to be the type of wife that allows my husband to be himself. As stupid, arrogant and loving as he wants to be. I want to be the type of person that will be okay with whatever or whoever he is. I don't want to nag! I hate when wives nag it kills me, and I'm female! I want to be the type of wife that he listens to, misses when he is away and behind my back tells his friends how awesome I am.
I don't want to tell him how to behave in public, to eat his food (Yip, true story) or what to wear, but if he wants me to take out his clothes for him I could do it on occasion. I want to be the type of wife, that if he is watching soccer, playing fifa or trolling through techie sites I can go and read and not have to tell him that we not spending enough quality time together.
I want to be the women that inspires him to be a better man. To be his best friend.
I'm sure he will irritate me, but I want to be the type of wife that can tell him so and have him want to better himself because HE wants to do it. Not because I force or emotionally or sexually blackmail him.
That being said, a man who does not have his Shit together, will not be able to have this type of relationship. Because if I'm not going to be needy and clingy he just might be. As the wife I want to be, so too would I like a husband that is the same.
I don't need a husband who praises me everyday. I was not born in a family that did that. So I will either not believe him, or it will irritate me. But I want to inspire in him, the need to every now then tell me how much he loves me and that I was the best decision he made.
I don't need a husband to support me financially. But I want him to. At least to know that he will look after me, and have it be my decision that we work together.
I want us to be able to live my life with my husband. Not create a world that should either of us not be there, we would fall into pieces and question the very existence of God because of our own failings.
If he sees a beautiful women, he must feel free to come to me and say 'wow...this chick is hot. But will not flirt with her, not out of respect for me, but out of respect for her because he doesn't want to lead her on. Because he treats all women with respect no matter who they are. And if she does flirt with him, he must ignore her because I am enough for him.
Who we are should not be based on the other person. But they should inspire us to do better, be better and feel loved even if we don't succeed.
Sounds like a fairy tale doesn't it? After all you don't always get what you want.
And they all lived Happily Ever After