I realized that in order to really do this, I would have to utilize more than one website. Just to see what would the response would be like on each of them and if they were different. Within three days of uploading my profile I got quite a few responses. Questions like where do you live, where do you work, and what do you do for fun, I have answered until I am blue in the face. If I never have to answer these questions again, I will be the happiest person on earth!
The guys, who did respond to my profile, were actually quite normal decent guys. There were a lot of IT and Finance guys who made me wonder…do they not get enough work to do? Because most of them are online during the day. They seemed to like the same things I liked, adventure, Lord of the Rings, food. And I even scored an intellectual conversation here and there. But then, after getting to know each other for an hour, they go right for the jugular… “So why are you here?” First I thought, boy! Do you not read? It’s right there in black and white. But I answered “I want to get married”.
The second dreaded question “So what do you want in a husband”, my answer was simple…someone who is a partner, not a father or son. Someone who I can live my life with. Someone who deals with his shit and does not bring it to my door. Oi…and then the other shoe dropped.
Mr. Software constantly told me that he was spoiled with love. What the fuck does that mean? Was what I wanted to ask him. When we met it was one of the most painful experiences of my life. He just stared at me, and I was so nervous, I was asking him all kinds of questions to get over the awkwardness and he just gave one word answers. Mr. Web, was not only mature in age and intellect, but was also married, for a very short time. Found out his ex-wife was pregnant and has been trying to get custody of the son, which he didn't know if it really was his, from his neglectful mother and psycho new husband. Mr. Dimple was a very sweet guy…but he was shorter than me, which I found out only when he made the effort *which he got two gold stars for* to come and meet me at a place where he never would have went to. But the incessant talk of his fiancé’s excessive spending habits, and ultimately the eventual crushing of his heart with her stilletoe heal that he paid for, really put a dampen on things. He kept on telling me all the things he had ready for his wife…she would be lucky, her own house and stuffs…but she won’t travel anywhere. Mr. Dubai floored me when he asked for my number and hit my breath out, when he actually called…twice.
But my favorite was Mr. Smooth, a widower with two small kids. He was everything I wanted on paper. And to top it all off, he was funny. I realised that I could really fall for this guy…*cue mills and boon story line with a happy ever after and me being called mummy*. While in the fantasy, this would be possible, the reality was completely different. The reality was, I couldn’t be second best to my husband. And when kids are involved the rules are different and they always come first. And I would never ask a father to make such a sacrifice. I expressed this to him to which he replied, that he might have been 99% of what I was looking for, after that answer I was 100% what he was looking for. But that he understood and I haven’t heard from him since.
I was upset, and even wondered if this guy was ‘the one’. Then I remembered what I always said about ‘the one’. That it didn’t exists, it was a dream we made ourselves believe. And then I also realized that Mr. Smooth would obviously show me only his best side. And so would the others. But what stared at me in the face was that the broken side of them, the side that came with baggage was unavoidable and even to a certain extent intensified because of the internet. And its the partners brokeness that could be the breaking point of the realationship...
The guys, who did respond to my profile, were actually quite normal decent guys. There were a lot of IT and Finance guys who made me wonder…do they not get enough work to do? Because most of them are online during the day. They seemed to like the same things I liked, adventure, Lord of the Rings, food. And I even scored an intellectual conversation here and there. But then, after getting to know each other for an hour, they go right for the jugular… “So why are you here?” First I thought, boy! Do you not read? It’s right there in black and white. But I answered “I want to get married”.
The second dreaded question “So what do you want in a husband”, my answer was simple…someone who is a partner, not a father or son. Someone who I can live my life with. Someone who deals with his shit and does not bring it to my door. Oi…and then the other shoe dropped.
Mr. Software constantly told me that he was spoiled with love. What the fuck does that mean? Was what I wanted to ask him. When we met it was one of the most painful experiences of my life. He just stared at me, and I was so nervous, I was asking him all kinds of questions to get over the awkwardness and he just gave one word answers. Mr. Web, was not only mature in age and intellect, but was also married, for a very short time. Found out his ex-wife was pregnant and has been trying to get custody of the son, which he didn't know if it really was his, from his neglectful mother and psycho new husband. Mr. Dimple was a very sweet guy…but he was shorter than me, which I found out only when he made the effort *which he got two gold stars for* to come and meet me at a place where he never would have went to. But the incessant talk of his fiancé’s excessive spending habits, and ultimately the eventual crushing of his heart with her stilletoe heal that he paid for, really put a dampen on things. He kept on telling me all the things he had ready for his wife…she would be lucky, her own house and stuffs…but she won’t travel anywhere. Mr. Dubai floored me when he asked for my number and hit my breath out, when he actually called…twice.
But my favorite was Mr. Smooth, a widower with two small kids. He was everything I wanted on paper. And to top it all off, he was funny. I realised that I could really fall for this guy…*cue mills and boon story line with a happy ever after and me being called mummy*. While in the fantasy, this would be possible, the reality was completely different. The reality was, I couldn’t be second best to my husband. And when kids are involved the rules are different and they always come first. And I would never ask a father to make such a sacrifice. I expressed this to him to which he replied, that he might have been 99% of what I was looking for, after that answer I was 100% what he was looking for. But that he understood and I haven’t heard from him since.
I was upset, and even wondered if this guy was ‘the one’. Then I remembered what I always said about ‘the one’. That it didn’t exists, it was a dream we made ourselves believe. And then I also realized that Mr. Smooth would obviously show me only his best side. And so would the others. But what stared at me in the face was that the broken side of them, the side that came with baggage was unavoidable and even to a certain extent intensified because of the internet. And its the partners brokeness that could be the breaking point of the realationship...
To Be Concluded…
3 comments:
IT people seldom work.. So i heard
It shows
Hope im not living proof :P
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