Friday, October 10, 2008

Still in the Long Dark of Moria

When the fellowship was in Moria…I wondered what other secretes the darkness held.

I lived alone for about three months. In this time I use to take the bus to work…(yes a bus, the whole world takes public transport besides Muslim Indians in SA)…on the way to the bus stop, I had to walk up a dark road and I wondered…was this what Moria felt like? It was dark - cause this is SA and the street lights never worked and freezing - cause it was the middle of winter, and if a man walked pass me I wondered if he was going to kill me.

What I thought was a man in the darkness, was really one of those green electricity box’s. And when I though I was all alone...I was actually being followed by two guys. By the grace of the Almighty, nothing happened to me.

It occurred to me then that we lived our lives like that. 90% of the time we have no idea what is going on around us, because nothing is what it seems.

Nothing happens to you in the darkness because you are ‘blind to all else that moves’, at the same time you are defenceless. But maybe Allah has given you the darkness so that you can hide from your enemy and not the other way around?

But then I think of Salma…when I was on holiday, I saw Salma’s husband, with another women. Now I wouldn’t even thought twice about it, but when I greeted him, he checked me miss (made like he didn’t see me). I knew he was having an affair…look I know about the whole three witnesses before you accuse someone, but this man was guilty…his face said it all. I wrestled with wheather I should tell her or not. But I have a big mouth, so I told my friend who is her niece what I saw. She then told me that according to Salma, her husband was suppose to be at the Istima (don’t know how to spell it). Salma is still with her husband. Which is all cool, if he was honest and apologised and they made up. He said I was lying…which he has the right to do cause he can defend himself…but I told Salma, why would I lie. I have nothing to gain. Deep down she knows the truth, but she would rather be in the dark, because there…nothing can hurt her.

Light comes whether it is in the form of an ancient evil of flame and shadow or a torch. When there is light, you can see your enemy, you can see ‘what hunts you’. It is weird, that in my life, every time there was light, and I saw what I was up against, I was armed in a way, able to defend myself, whether it was running away from dogs that were chasing me or holding the pepper spray in my pocket. Only by the grace of The Almighty!

I guess sometimes the truth is better not known. Because we are not able to deal with it. I have a problem with this idealised view of ‘the truth’. That it can set you free. The truth about the truth is that there are many different versions of it. I think the one truth that needs to be known is our own.

If the whole fellowship knew that Gollum was following them, they was have convinced each other to capture him and then kill him! Then the ring would never have been destroyed.

I guess that my point is, whether i made it or not, that everything happens for a reason. Both Darkness and the Light!