Lets face it, any game where he walks away blood free, is a good game.
I'll be dreaming.
Fresh start
2 weeks ago
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
He makes it all better...
Lets face it, any game where he walks away blood free, is a good game.
I'll be dreaming.
Monday, September 20, 2010
This was suppose to be a reflective post, but it just turned into an anger fit.
I seem to attract guys who are broken. This is worse than bad boys, it’s like bad boys in retirement. They have lived their lives, now they want to ‘settle down’ aka, ‘wanting a reason to be a good and having wife will fulfil the emptiness they have been running away from for so long. I have to admit, I was one of those girls who was attracted to the bad boy because I wanted to save them. But I have hung up my cape. I am a superhero no more. So WHY do I still attract guys like this?
Even though I believe I am worth more, even though I want more. I seem to attract less than. And I wonder sometimes, maybe we are just not going to get what we want. And this is the Universe's way of saying “this is all you're ever going to get...so stop complaining and get on with it”. Should I give up what I want, for what is real? But I do know people who marry their perfect spouse...so shouldn’t I try? But then, am I letting perfectly good partners go because they don’t fit my ideal? I hate this. I really do. Because in essence I don’t want to be judged according to my education, religions practices or financial status, yet I judge guys on those things. I’m looking for a husband like shopping for shoes...and that is not the way we should treat people.
I officially hate The Boy. You know what he did? He made me see everything in my life that I was lacking. And all the things I will never have. I am so over it now. I’m over him and my stupid illusion. He makes me sick. Right now, I want to throw rotten tomatoes at him and say 'how does it feel huh?' I really really hate him! I wish I never met him. I wish I never knew all the things that I was missing. Effen asshole, with his perfect life and even perfecter girlfriend. They gonna go on and have dozens of perfect children. And he is going to die, an old man with perfect great grandchildren. Asshole. I don’t wish him ill. I really do wish him all the good things. But I just want him to Leave. Me. Alone! Okay.
I’m done looking. I’m done questioning. I’m just done.
I have to go and work now. Bye. Asshole!
Even though I believe I am worth more, even though I want more. I seem to attract less than. And I wonder sometimes, maybe we are just not going to get what we want. And this is the Universe's way of saying “this is all you're ever going to get...so stop complaining and get on with it”. Should I give up what I want, for what is real? But I do know people who marry their perfect spouse...so shouldn’t I try? But then, am I letting perfectly good partners go because they don’t fit my ideal? I hate this. I really do. Because in essence I don’t want to be judged according to my education, religions practices or financial status, yet I judge guys on those things. I’m looking for a husband like shopping for shoes...and that is not the way we should treat people.
I officially hate The Boy. You know what he did? He made me see everything in my life that I was lacking. And all the things I will never have. I am so over it now. I’m over him and my stupid illusion. He makes me sick. Right now, I want to throw rotten tomatoes at him and say 'how does it feel huh?' I really really hate him! I wish I never met him. I wish I never knew all the things that I was missing. Effen asshole, with his perfect life and even perfecter girlfriend. They gonna go on and have dozens of perfect children. And he is going to die, an old man with perfect great grandchildren. Asshole. I don’t wish him ill. I really do wish him all the good things. But I just want him to Leave. Me. Alone! Okay.
I’m done looking. I’m done questioning. I’m just done.
I have to go and work now. Bye. Asshole!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Inception and Matrix is not the same. Full Stop.
I always try and stay objective, and try not to state my opinion as fact.
But not this time.
Let us just get one thing straight....Matrix and Inception are NOT the same thing.
The underlying theme of the Matrix movies is the questioning of destiny vs. choice. For the characters, what is real is Zion. What is the ‘dream’ or in this case the illusion is the Matrix. The people who are still plugged into the Matrix is not the focus...yes they exist, which means to them, reality is skewed but to the central characters they already know what is real and what is not. What they don’t know is why they are where they are, and what do they do in order to attain freedom. Matrix is about machines creating and controlling reality for humans who are just puppets in the Matrix. The movies make the viewer question what is real or not. We find ourselves basically asking, what if we plugged in? And if we are, how would we know? This is about freedom for the people.
Inception is completely different, while maybe at some point it deals with the similer topics. Inception is about the self, the subconscious and reality. There are a few times in my life, when I had dreams that were so real, that I didn’t even know I was having them, until I woke up. Now if you have ever had a dream like this, you will understand. The characters at some point enter each other’s dreams which in essence are each person’s version of reality which exists in their subconscious (like the dark part of your mind). Now the whole time, the viewer is questioning what is real or not but the key thing here is that they question whether the characters can tell the difference. In the subconscious the world of the dreamer, that is, your own reality comes to life. The dreamer or the person is the prisoner of themselves. The question here is what is reality? This is about freedom for the self.
The ability to bring other people into your world is very cool. But not something that happens in the Matrix. We don’t see what is happening in Neo’s mind. But what is happening in the programme. His mind might be plugged into the machine which can be seen as a ‘dream’ but in Inception everyone is plugged into the dreamer.
Get it? I found this, which explains the whole 5 stages of dreams, which is cool.
At some point in social sciences you get to a point where you question the very nature of reality. Because the truth is, that how we define objects or colours for example is taught to us. Through culture, society and so forth. But the reality is, that each person might be seeing something different, but we all learn to categorise it the same why. For example, seeing the colour blue. How do we all know that everyone’s definition of what blue looks like looks the same. We only know its blue because when we were younger we were taught that blue looks a certain way. So what if, half of the world saw the colour orange and the other saw the colour pink, but because some people in the past named that specific colour blue, we define it as blue. So the differentiation of colour is there, you see different colours and name them a certain way, but there is no guarantee that we all see the same thing. Unless there have been studies to prove otherwise, I’m sticking to my story.
If you are spiritual and believe that there are worlds that exist beyond the real world that we see, you will understand Inception MUCH better. I’ll blog about my theories a little later...which will not be for the faint hearted.
But not this time.
Let us just get one thing straight....Matrix and Inception are NOT the same thing.
The underlying theme of the Matrix movies is the questioning of destiny vs. choice. For the characters, what is real is Zion. What is the ‘dream’ or in this case the illusion is the Matrix. The people who are still plugged into the Matrix is not the focus...yes they exist, which means to them, reality is skewed but to the central characters they already know what is real and what is not. What they don’t know is why they are where they are, and what do they do in order to attain freedom. Matrix is about machines creating and controlling reality for humans who are just puppets in the Matrix. The movies make the viewer question what is real or not. We find ourselves basically asking, what if we plugged in? And if we are, how would we know? This is about freedom for the people.
Inception is completely different, while maybe at some point it deals with the similer topics. Inception is about the self, the subconscious and reality. There are a few times in my life, when I had dreams that were so real, that I didn’t even know I was having them, until I woke up. Now if you have ever had a dream like this, you will understand. The characters at some point enter each other’s dreams which in essence are each person’s version of reality which exists in their subconscious (like the dark part of your mind). Now the whole time, the viewer is questioning what is real or not but the key thing here is that they question whether the characters can tell the difference. In the subconscious the world of the dreamer, that is, your own reality comes to life. The dreamer or the person is the prisoner of themselves. The question here is what is reality? This is about freedom for the self.
The ability to bring other people into your world is very cool. But not something that happens in the Matrix. We don’t see what is happening in Neo’s mind. But what is happening in the programme. His mind might be plugged into the machine which can be seen as a ‘dream’ but in Inception everyone is plugged into the dreamer.
Get it? I found this, which explains the whole 5 stages of dreams, which is cool.
At some point in social sciences you get to a point where you question the very nature of reality. Because the truth is, that how we define objects or colours for example is taught to us. Through culture, society and so forth. But the reality is, that each person might be seeing something different, but we all learn to categorise it the same why. For example, seeing the colour blue. How do we all know that everyone’s definition of what blue looks like looks the same. We only know its blue because when we were younger we were taught that blue looks a certain way. So what if, half of the world saw the colour orange and the other saw the colour pink, but because some people in the past named that specific colour blue, we define it as blue. So the differentiation of colour is there, you see different colours and name them a certain way, but there is no guarantee that we all see the same thing. Unless there have been studies to prove otherwise, I’m sticking to my story.
If you are spiritual and believe that there are worlds that exist beyond the real world that we see, you will understand Inception MUCH better. I’ll blog about my theories a little later...which will not be for the faint hearted.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Lightbulb moment
Good and Evil are not the same thing.
They are not a dichotomy.
The Dichotomy is the vessel in which good and evil resides in.
They are not a dichotomy.
The Dichotomy is the vessel in which good and evil resides in.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
The Object of Faith
People attach meaning to objects. We have always done it…and we will always do it. But, the understanding of what the object means and what meaning that
should be attach to it, is different for everyone. We all have our ‘perceptions’ of what the object means because each person will see the object differently. This meaning is then passed down from generation to generation. And most times forms part of our cultural norms.
Clothing is much the same thing. It is pieces of material that is sown together. The meaning behind the piece of clothing is mostly dictated by the designer. Either s/he wanted to capture the 60’s or design a garment that will make women seem thinner. The clothing has a bigger purpose than just covering the human body from the elements. Many people also use clothes to express how they feel. I am the type of person that dresses this way. If I feel good I look good.
Given the right circumstance a simple object like clothing becomes a political statement; a statement of identity as appose to a religious choice (as it should be) or an expression of the wearer. Hijjab is a perfect example of this.
Every Ramadaan it’s the same story, many girls who don’t normally wear hijjab (including myself) will now wear it for the duration of the month. For me, dressing differently keeps me constantly aware of the fact that this month is special. But the meaning of hijjab for me is much more complicated then just choosing an item of clothing to wear. It is for this reason that I do not wear hijjab every single day. (The reason I will discuss in a later post)
Let’s get one thing straight, I do not negate that I am suppose to wear hijjab. Why? Not because I want to be recognised as a Muslim, or my mother said so, or to hide my ‘beautiful’ hair from prying male eyes, BUT because Allah (SWT) said so. Full stop.
The meaning behind the hijjab is that people think that just because you wear it, you automatically have the characteristics of a good Muslim girl. This meaning behind hijjab is a socially constructed thing.
In other words, people perceive that by wearing this piece of clothing you automatically have a certain type of character. So because your head and/or body is covered you are innocent, respectable, and ‘good’. But here is the thing, I have a big mouth and tend to bob my head when I here music. So if I was wearing hijjab people would say, "Look at that girl, she has on hijjab but she is jiving in the street". So does that automatically make me a bad person? In the Quran, it doesn't say; wear hijjab because it will automatically make you a better person.
It does make me feel good to wear hijjab in this month. And to see all the other girls also do the same. It makes me feel connected to something greater, and there are times when I wish I felt like that all the time.
I recently got an email from someone that said “This is not hijjab” then it went on to describe a list of things. Now I do not disagree with theses points. It is valid and true. But what I don’t understand is why are you complaining? At least the girl is making an effort to be identified as a Muslim. Even if it is only for this month or only on Fridays. It is a step in the right direction. And yes, if someone is doing something wrong it should be pointed out to them, in a decent manner, and then they must make that choice for themselves.
No one, be it person, mufti or state has the right to dictate to people how they express their religion, culture or personality!! Whether it is telling them not to wear the niqab or telling them how to wear the hijjab.
NOTHING irritates me more than when I decide to wear a scarf and Muslim people ask me “Why you looking all holy all of a sudden?” As a Muslim it is your duty to say that I look good. Not question my faith because I look different.
I cannot say it as simply as this. Just because people wear hijjab, does not make them more faithful, pious or righteous. Because the hijjab is a physical object. This physical object does not have human characteristics; therefore the wearer does not automatically assume those things.
It’s like a crown doesn’t make a king. But the crown is a representation of his king hood. Hijjab does not make you a Muslim, but it is a physical expression of your religious choice of obeying the religious law.
The whole concept of Niquab and Hijjab is highly contested for many reasons. What we as Muslims need to understand is that our faith cannot be contained in an object; it is not sowed into the garments that we wear. That essentially what all people need to understand is that a scarf is just a scarf. And the meaning that we as people attach to it is not the same meaning as divinely ordained.
There are times when I don’t want to wear hijjab, just because I know that the Muslims who don’t wear it, are going to comment on it and think that I think, I’m all of a sudden better than them…and the women who do wear it, are going to look at me funny as if to say 'Oh whatever…You are only starting now…I’ve been doing this longer than you, therefore I’m a better Muslim than you.’ I read a blog where the commenter admits to judging women who don’t wear hijjab but make salaah. Then the objective of wearing hijjab (not to draw attention to myself) is defeated.
My criticism is not of commenter, but on her thinking that many many other Muslim women share. Let us remember that people are multi-faceted and that nothing is what it seems. Just because a girl does not wear hijjab does not mean that she does not make her salaah, or that she is less of a Muslim than you. Instead of commenting on the fact that some girls have their heads covered yet their bums open. Or that they are wearing a kurta but you can see their body shape.
Rather think, 'today that girl has made a choice to be identified as a Muslim'. Be proud of that fact. Rather comment on how beautiful women who suddenly wear hijjab look. Let us positively re-enforce behaviour.
Muslim women are the back bone of the society. We need to start treating each other with respect and understanding even though we don’t agree with each others decisions. Because Allah (SWT) has given all of us free will and a brain to think for ourselves.
So to the Muslim women out there today...which ever way you decide to express yourself and your religion, acknowledge that there is a right and wrong way to do it. Whichever choice you make it does not automatically make it 'right' but it is your choice and you will answer for it.
JM!
should be attach to it, is different for everyone. We all have our ‘perceptions’ of what the object means because each person will see the object differently. This meaning is then passed down from generation to generation. And most times forms part of our cultural norms.
Clothing is much the same thing. It is pieces of material that is sown together. The meaning behind the piece of clothing is mostly dictated by the designer. Either s/he wanted to capture the 60’s or design a garment that will make women seem thinner. The clothing has a bigger purpose than just covering the human body from the elements. Many people also use clothes to express how they feel. I am the type of person that dresses this way. If I feel good I look good.
Given the right circumstance a simple object like clothing becomes a political statement; a statement of identity as appose to a religious choice (as it should be) or an expression of the wearer. Hijjab is a perfect example of this.
Every Ramadaan it’s the same story, many girls who don’t normally wear hijjab (including myself) will now wear it for the duration of the month. For me, dressing differently keeps me constantly aware of the fact that this month is special. But the meaning of hijjab for me is much more complicated then just choosing an item of clothing to wear. It is for this reason that I do not wear hijjab every single day. (The reason I will discuss in a later post)
Let’s get one thing straight, I do not negate that I am suppose to wear hijjab. Why? Not because I want to be recognised as a Muslim, or my mother said so, or to hide my ‘beautiful’ hair from prying male eyes, BUT because Allah (SWT) said so. Full stop.
The meaning behind the hijjab is that people think that just because you wear it, you automatically have the characteristics of a good Muslim girl. This meaning behind hijjab is a socially constructed thing.
In other words, people perceive that by wearing this piece of clothing you automatically have a certain type of character. So because your head and/or body is covered you are innocent, respectable, and ‘good’. But here is the thing, I have a big mouth and tend to bob my head when I here music. So if I was wearing hijjab people would say, "Look at that girl, she has on hijjab but she is jiving in the street". So does that automatically make me a bad person? In the Quran, it doesn't say; wear hijjab because it will automatically make you a better person.
It does make me feel good to wear hijjab in this month. And to see all the other girls also do the same. It makes me feel connected to something greater, and there are times when I wish I felt like that all the time.
I recently got an email from someone that said “This is not hijjab” then it went on to describe a list of things. Now I do not disagree with theses points. It is valid and true. But what I don’t understand is why are you complaining? At least the girl is making an effort to be identified as a Muslim. Even if it is only for this month or only on Fridays. It is a step in the right direction. And yes, if someone is doing something wrong it should be pointed out to them, in a decent manner, and then they must make that choice for themselves.
No one, be it person, mufti or state has the right to dictate to people how they express their religion, culture or personality!! Whether it is telling them not to wear the niqab or telling them how to wear the hijjab.
NOTHING irritates me more than when I decide to wear a scarf and Muslim people ask me “Why you looking all holy all of a sudden?” As a Muslim it is your duty to say that I look good. Not question my faith because I look different.
I cannot say it as simply as this. Just because people wear hijjab, does not make them more faithful, pious or righteous. Because the hijjab is a physical object. This physical object does not have human characteristics; therefore the wearer does not automatically assume those things.
It’s like a crown doesn’t make a king. But the crown is a representation of his king hood. Hijjab does not make you a Muslim, but it is a physical expression of your religious choice of obeying the religious law.
The whole concept of Niquab and Hijjab is highly contested for many reasons. What we as Muslims need to understand is that our faith cannot be contained in an object; it is not sowed into the garments that we wear. That essentially what all people need to understand is that a scarf is just a scarf. And the meaning that we as people attach to it is not the same meaning as divinely ordained.
There are times when I don’t want to wear hijjab, just because I know that the Muslims who don’t wear it, are going to comment on it and think that I think, I’m all of a sudden better than them…and the women who do wear it, are going to look at me funny as if to say 'Oh whatever…You are only starting now…I’ve been doing this longer than you, therefore I’m a better Muslim than you.’ I read a blog where the commenter admits to judging women who don’t wear hijjab but make salaah. Then the objective of wearing hijjab (not to draw attention to myself) is defeated.
My criticism is not of commenter, but on her thinking that many many other Muslim women share. Let us remember that people are multi-faceted and that nothing is what it seems. Just because a girl does not wear hijjab does not mean that she does not make her salaah, or that she is less of a Muslim than you. Instead of commenting on the fact that some girls have their heads covered yet their bums open. Or that they are wearing a kurta but you can see their body shape.
Rather think, 'today that girl has made a choice to be identified as a Muslim'. Be proud of that fact. Rather comment on how beautiful women who suddenly wear hijjab look. Let us positively re-enforce behaviour.
Muslim women are the back bone of the society. We need to start treating each other with respect and understanding even though we don’t agree with each others decisions. Because Allah (SWT) has given all of us free will and a brain to think for ourselves.
So to the Muslim women out there today...which ever way you decide to express yourself and your religion, acknowledge that there is a right and wrong way to do it. Whichever choice you make it does not automatically make it 'right' but it is your choice and you will answer for it.
JM!
Dear Future Husband
I thought I saw you today. Driving in the car behind me. I tried to look again, but stopped myself. It is Ramadaan after all right? I'm not suppose to be looking.
But I miss you. I miss you? How can you miss something that you've never had? But I do.
I am excited...impatient almost, waiting for you. I am excited about the life that we would have together. The hours we would spend talking, and laughing and getting to know each other. I can't wait to get to know the real you, the one that hides behind that smile of yours. I've never seen you smile, but I'm sure its a beautiful one. I'm even excited about the fights that we will have. Because I know that from those fights, you and I will just grow as people and grow stronger together. I can't wait for the Eids that we will spend together, and the family functions and for the aunties that will ask us, 'so when are the babies coming?'. I can't wait to smell your after shave and wear your shirts and just wake up next to you. To travel the world with you.
I always thought you would present yourself to me in a huge wooden box with a big pink bow. Jump out and say 'Allah has sent me'. You laughing now, but its true. I ALWAYS believed that. Then someone told me it was not going to happen like that so I looked for you. I've been really looking for you this year. Maybe not to the best of my abilities, but I'm out there. And every time I think I see you walking pass me, or in the shopping mall or on the streets. I look again, and you've disappeared into this other man, with a wife and kids.
I met someone who I thought was JUST like you. I thought he had the same eyes as you and the same witty humour. The way he moved and spoke, and the way he looked at me. I thought it was you. But it wasn't. I'm worried that I'm getting too old for you, that my body is not what it looked like when I was 18. Day by day, my ass gets a little bigger, my boobs droop just a little bit more and I wonder...will you be okay with that? Day by day, I get just a little bit more set in my ways, I get a little bit more harder, more independent. And I wonder, will we be able to survive that?
But no matter what, I still believe. That Allah (SWT) will send you to me when he wills it. I just wish it would be sooner rather than later. I'm done looking for you...its your turn now...you need to come and find me okay? So get done already!
I know everything happens only in its given time, but this letter is just a small reminder, that I'm sill here, and I still believe.
I can't wait!!!
All My Future Love
T.
But I miss you. I miss you? How can you miss something that you've never had? But I do.
I am excited...impatient almost, waiting for you. I am excited about the life that we would have together. The hours we would spend talking, and laughing and getting to know each other. I can't wait to get to know the real you, the one that hides behind that smile of yours. I've never seen you smile, but I'm sure its a beautiful one. I'm even excited about the fights that we will have. Because I know that from those fights, you and I will just grow as people and grow stronger together. I can't wait for the Eids that we will spend together, and the family functions and for the aunties that will ask us, 'so when are the babies coming?'. I can't wait to smell your after shave and wear your shirts and just wake up next to you. To travel the world with you.
I always thought you would present yourself to me in a huge wooden box with a big pink bow. Jump out and say 'Allah has sent me'. You laughing now, but its true. I ALWAYS believed that. Then someone told me it was not going to happen like that so I looked for you. I've been really looking for you this year. Maybe not to the best of my abilities, but I'm out there. And every time I think I see you walking pass me, or in the shopping mall or on the streets. I look again, and you've disappeared into this other man, with a wife and kids.
I met someone who I thought was JUST like you. I thought he had the same eyes as you and the same witty humour. The way he moved and spoke, and the way he looked at me. I thought it was you. But it wasn't. I'm worried that I'm getting too old for you, that my body is not what it looked like when I was 18. Day by day, my ass gets a little bigger, my boobs droop just a little bit more and I wonder...will you be okay with that? Day by day, I get just a little bit more set in my ways, I get a little bit more harder, more independent. And I wonder, will we be able to survive that?
But no matter what, I still believe. That Allah (SWT) will send you to me when he wills it. I just wish it would be sooner rather than later. I'm done looking for you...its your turn now...you need to come and find me okay? So get done already!
I know everything happens only in its given time, but this letter is just a small reminder, that I'm sill here, and I still believe.
I can't wait!!!
All My Future Love
T.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Inception
Like seriously…this movie was awesome. I wanted to stand up and clap for them.
Wow.
That’s all.
Wow.
That’s all.
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