Getting Ready...

I remember a nazim/song that we learned in Madressa. "Ramadan is coming, Ramadan is coming..." I hated that song. Not only because that it has a melody that is displeasing to my ear but reminds me of not a very nice time in my life.

I love Ramadan. Its just a feeling. A comfort that comes over you that you want to hold on to forever. You remember your purpose. Your destiny. You remember all the things that the long days and nights of normalcy make you forget.

I am reminded that all life is connected. That I am a spec of light on thread of the tapestry of life. Interlinked and interwoven into a greater universe. One that I cannot comprehend. I realise that all of time is just perception. My understanding of what moves between one second and another is determined by what I am feeling at that particular time.

And it normally sways between hunger and exhaustion. Frustration and anger is not far behind. Sprinkle a little sadness and tears and you have melting pot of all the things that you shouldn't be doing while you are fasting. But, alas such is the human condition.

This morning I sign into facebook and every second status talks about trusting the Lord of the worlds. Yes okay I got the message. I need to trust. But the day goes on and my mood dips and I remember that while I worship a Loving and Forgiving Lord, He is also a tester. He is also punisher. And I feel like the whole world is weighing down on me. Like I just can't handle one more sad story, or more 'bad news' or things that are never going to happen. Like death would be a great relief right now. So later I'm Internet surfing and came across this post, please note the date. How apt it talking about fasting. And its like the Lord spoke to me again.

Okay, I get it. No more wallowing. Trust your Lord. Change yourself. Have Patience. Message received loud and clear.

On a more social note:

I went out this past weekend and it was like Muslims where enjoying what they can of their freedom before they went to jail. There a two schools of though on this matter, one that thinks people going out in droves before Ramadan eating as if all the food is going to finish in one month, is wrong, and those who think its okay. I use to come from the first one, but now I think I agree with the second much more.

As South African Muslims 'celebration' of ones religion is...difficult. We haven't learned how to do it yet. To eat? But over-eating is bad for you and against the Sunnah. Zoo Lake? Parading around while you should be with family has been officially condemned by the Ulamah. We don't drink, we don't dance or listen to music...'officially' anyway. So how do we celebrate such as awesome month? South Africa's go shopping and walk around malls.

To the naysayers I say, give us a break! Being a Muslim is more than just being in your family. Being a Muslim means that you a apart of a greater family, society. Going out and seeing all types of people with their family's eating at a restaurant, or shopping for last minute Ramadan groceries gives us a sense of camaraderie. That we all going to do it together. And isn't that what the whole point of Islam is? To bring people together in the worship of the one Lord?

To Know

This is not about pain, all pain is relative. Everyone experiences it so no one can tell the other how good or bad they got it.

But the breaking of the very fabric of reality is something that you will never understand unless you have been through it.

Unless you have been through that moment, where everything goes silent, the world stops and you can literally hear a type of crack. A breaking of sorts. The wind is knocked out of you. You go numb, then bombarded with every emotion known to man and then numb again. All in a blink of an eye.

You think back to the moment before, the moment you didn’t know and it’s like you can’t understand how it happened. How can reality crack, break, change, split, disappear with just Knowing?

Everything is different. And nothing will ever be the same again. And you try to hold on, but it slips away from you. And in your heart you can feel it. Not just experienced, not just lived through…you Know.

I can notice it the minute I meet someone, whether they Know or not. Some try and hide it. Some wear it like a badge of honour. But I can see it in their eyes, in their step, in the lowering of their voice. I think they can see me too. The Knowers.

People talk about pain, sacrifice, doing what you want, freedom, liberation and independence. As if they know what that means. As if they have paid the blood price for Knowing. They talk, but they don’t Know.

In truth I envy them.

What I wouldn’t give to not Know.

Two words that haunt me...

are. is. Fucking grammar!

Moonstruck quote

Totally love this

"You can't see what you are. I can see everything. You are a wolf! The big part of you has no words and it's-a wolf. This woman was a trap for you. She caught you and you could not get away. So you chewed off your foot! That was the price you had to pay to be free. Johnny had nothing to do with it. You did what you had to do, between you and you, and I know I'm right, I don't care what you say. And now you're afraid because you found out the big part of you is a wolf that has the courage to bite off its own hand to save itself from the trap of the wrong love. That's why there has been no woman since that wrong woman. You are scared to death what the wolf will do if you make that mistake again!"

My new husband *and the last*

 

Need I say more?

 

I wait with bated breath.

 

and a *sigh*

Lost in translation…because you lose the plot

Everyone has their own way of writing. Some use humour, sarcasm, similes, whatever to create a specific style. The style is their brand, what makes them unique.  But not everyone can do it. I have read many books, which I don’t even remember because the langue or the imagination of the writer is much like the next one. It doesn’t stand out to me.  

When I read an opinion or a social commentary whether in a blog, email, article I am very critical. Two words “reference” and “justify” has been ingrained in my mind. Every time I read something I ask myself, how do you know this? What does that mean? This can make me very anal and I’m sure this post is going to make me sound preachy.

For a while now I’ve been saying that people are saying a lot but they fail to “make an argument”. I get that I approach it from an academic point of view, but hear me out.

Understanding is often based on many things, intellect, experience, age. When a reader comes to a piece of writing they bring with them their whole selves, their whole world to the table, and interpret and understand from their point of view.

Now is it the writers fault that the reader can’t understand? No. You have to write in a way that is true to yourself, I get that. BUT, it is your responsibility to make sure what you are writing is understandable. Keep your audience in mind; though don’t only write for their pleasure. It’s a delicate balance.  

So what is the point of this whole thing? If you going to comment on real life social issues, I suggest you learn how to do it. There is a reason “the pen is mightier than the sword”. You are accountable for your words.

For the writers

“MAKE AN ARGUMENT!!!” An argument in academic work is not a bad thing. It basically means, make a point with justifications. You can’t say “the sky is blue” you have to say “I’ve experienced the sea, therefore the sky is blue”. Now when you don’t do that, people make their own assumptions as to why you are saying “the sky is blue”. And their own assumptions will contradict your conclusion and miscommunication occurs.
Don’t use big words if it doesn’t come naturally to you. You just come across as a pompous asshole. And yes readers can tell.

Use sarcasm and humour with great caution. My funny and your funny are very different.

Spelling and grammar is something that I totally suck at. But if you don’t use this right, meaning is lost.

For the Readers

Walk a mile in the writer’s shoes. Yes, you have different experiences but try and understand what the writer is saying before you go shooting off your fowl mouth (Yes I have done this before). That is why I can tell you, read to understand “the argument”. Don’t get side tracked by the sparkle of the examples. Sometimes they don’t make sense to you because you don’t have the background to understand it.

I just read a blog that is perfect example of how people just loose the plot. She is talking about a subject, using examples to explain. The critics all get so caught up on the subject that the POINT of the article is completely lost. And they come off sounding like Dicks. If they did have a valid critique it’s lost among the bull shit they sprouting.

Be critical not RUDE. If you disagree, say so but with respect. And then justify your argument! State why you are critical - give evidence, even if it’s a made up example.

If you don’t understand, ask. Don’t respond to something you are not clear on!

This is specifically for serious social issues that are being discussed. I don’t like saying nasty things on peoples blog’s because I feel like it’s their personal space, but if you want to be critical about any of my stuff, go ahead. Just remember…make an argument!

Henry Cavill - Just because :D

The type of wife I want to be

The advantages of being single is you get to think about things.

I've been asked on more than one occasion, "so what are you looking for?" I assume this means in a spouse, otherwise I would have said "peace and lots of money". And then I think for a second, and I come up with the silly things that you think about, kind, funny, honest, stable. But the one question no ones seems to ask, is "What type of wife are you going to be?"

Its so easy to look for what you want, how you can get it, but to ask what are you willing to give and how will you give it is much more challenging.

I want to be the type of wife that allows my husband to be himself. As stupid, arrogant and loving as he wants to be. I want to be the type of person that will be okay with whatever or whoever he is. I don't want to nag! I hate when wives nag it kills me, and I'm female! I want to be the type of wife that he listens to, misses when he is away and behind my back tells his friends how awesome I am.

I don't want to tell him how to behave in public, to eat his food (Yip, true story) or what to wear, but if he wants me to take out his clothes for him I could do it on occasion. I want to be the type of wife, that if he is watching soccer, playing fifa or trolling through techie sites I can go and read and not have to tell him that we not spending enough quality time together.

I want to be the women that inspires him to be a better man. To be his best friend.

I'm sure he will irritate me, but I want to be the type of wife that can tell him so and have him want to better himself because HE wants to do it. Not because I force or emotionally or sexually blackmail him.

That being said, a man who does not have his Shit together, will not be able to have this type of relationship. Because if I'm not going to be needy and clingy he just might be. As the wife I want to be, so too would I like a husband that is the same.  

I don't need a husband who praises me everyday. I was not born in a family that did that. So I will either not believe him, or it will irritate me. But I want to inspire in him, the need to every now then tell me how much he loves me and that I was the best decision he made.

I don't need a husband to support me financially. But I want him to. At least to know that he will look after me, and have it be my decision that we work together.

I want us to be able to live my life with my husband. Not create a world that should either of us not be there, we would fall into pieces and question the very existence of God because of our own failings.

If he sees a beautiful women, he must feel free to come to me and say 'wow...this chick is hot. But will not flirt with her, not out of respect for me, but out of respect for her because he doesn't want to lead her on. Because he treats all women with respect no matter who they are. And if she does flirt with him, he must ignore her because I am enough for him.

Who we are should not be based on the other person. But they should inspire us to do better, be better and feel loved even if we don't succeed.

Sounds like a fairy tale doesn't it? After all you don't always get what you want.

And they all lived Happily Ever After