Rage of an anti-Feminist

My mother taught me to always except the message. No matter where it comes from, be it a bible verse, Buddah saying or whatever. There is a lesson in the message that I was meant to learn.

I initially liked the facebook group Pure Matrimony, not because I wanted to find a husband on their site but because my friend sent me a status of theirs and I liked the message. From time to time, they really do have good messages for people.

But for some reason their misogynistic undertones are getting louder and louder.  There are some things that you can ignore because you can say its cultural interpretation, but I think I have finally reached my limit.

This morning they put a very nice post about Jummah:

“1. *Men are obligated to participate in Friday Prayer*. Allah (S.W.T.) said in Surat Al-Jumauah, (verse 9), what can be translated as, "O’ you who believe! When the call is proclaimed to Prayer on Friday hasten earnestly to the remembrance of Allah, and leave off business. That is best for you if you but knew."

In addition, prophet Mohammad (P.B.U.H.) had warned from not attending Friday Prayer. In an authentic hadith reported by Abu Dawod, Tirmithi, An-Nesaii, and Ibn-Majah, that the prophet (P.B.U.H.) said, "Who ever does not attend three Friday prayers, (without a valid excuse) Allah will set a seal on his heart"

Can everyone just stop and read that again.... *Men are obligated to participate in Friday Prayer*.

So I say:

Please explain to me, how does this specify to Men only? You state *Men are obligated to participate in Friday Prayer* But the Verse starts "O’ you who believe!" And the Prophet Mohammad (P.B.U.H.) starts the Hadith with "Who ever does not ". So I don't understand how you specify only Men. Clarity would be much appreciated.

 Then Someone replies

wot is tryn 2 say is,men are oblige they must atend jumah prayer in the mosques while women are not oblige but they can atend jumah @ mosques if they wan to. Jumah mubarak to all!

So I say:

That is what the interpreter is saying, but there is no evidence in what they are quoting, that women are exempt from or can choose whether they want to go to Jummah.”

This is what seriously annoys me. Look, I don’t go to Jummah, because it’s not something I grew up doing. But I don’t believe that women are exempt for attending or even making Jummah at home.

“O’you who believe!” Does that mean that only men believe?

“Who ever does not” Does that mean only men?

If that is true that every time those phrases are stated you can cut women out of that equation.

Someone emailed me and said that he had a friend that was muslim and she felt that she was being oppressed by her muslim male counterparts.

I replied saying that this woman is from a ‘continental’ country, where the culture is dominated by a patriarchal society. The issues that she faces are no different to that of Christian or Jewish or even non-believing women face. Because, the emphases is not on the religion. Its not Muslim vs. Non-Muslim, its Men vs. Women.

This is a fight that has gone on for centenaries, and you know what it’s probably going to go on for a few more.

But essentially, Islam if practiced properly, and not according to cultural interpretation, gives women an equal position in Society! Idea’s that a woman’s place is in the home, cut off from knowledge, intellectual debate; travelling; or being seen and actually living within society is the biggest load of BULL I’ve ever heard. And I implore anyone who has evidence that proves me otherwise to come forward. I mean real evidence, not verses and hadiths that are taken out of context.

I think I have to do real research about this topic (Jummah and females) because it is one that keeps on rearing its ugly head.

But I’m going to do one final statement. Female oppression is not something that occurs in Islam alone. Across all religions, cultures, social economic status, you will find females that are oppressed. I don’t understand why, the minute people read the word, Muslim or Islam than for some reason its so much worse.

It isn’t. It’s all the same. 

Dear Muslim Women...

...who are desperate to get married

Read this very carefully. You’re first and foremost duty and loyalty as a Muslim is to your Lord. 

Your first job...is to worship...not to be a wife. 

The reason you were born was not so that you can one day buy your own washing machine and make hot hot rotis on the tawa. 

Your duty is to your one Lord. That’s it! Everything and anything comes secondary to that. Yes, getting married, having children, being a good daughter and in-law, sister, friend, and citizen is part of that but NOT the soul purpose.

It is absolutely disgusting how some men believe that a muslim women’s soul purpose in life is to get married. Shame on you and your house for teaching you that! 

It's just Fiction...or is it?

I have always had a love-hate relationship with Mills and Boon books. I will always blame my romantic expectations on these highly fictional works. But should I blame the books or myself? It is after all just a story about something that is not real.

I read this guys post...and being somewhat of a fiction fan I really thought about what he said. And it occurred to me that to some extent I agree with him. I might only agree with the title of his post but it is agreement non-the-less.

All I know about the books (hunger games and harry potter) is what the movies tell me. And from what the movie told me, the Hunger Games heroin Katniss was dismissive of her mother, because her mother abandoned them, when they needed her the most. 

Imagine really needing your mother...and she being there, but not being bothered to care about you. She’s too consumed by her own feelings to even acknowledge yours. Can you imagine what that must feel like? Older siblings often have this need to fulfil the role of the parent, when needed...then loosing respect for the parent because they are “doing a job” that the parent should. I’ve actually seen this behaviour in real life.  

So I think the story line firstly, is true to reality and secondly should teach parents that your job is to look after your kids, not the other way. I don’t know what happens in the books, but Katniss’s treatment of her mother is justified in the movie. It might not be right, because in Islam you are not allowed to be rude to your parents no matter what.

Can I blame my dysfunctional love life on the Mills and Boon fictional books? Can a parent blame the disrespect shown by their child on fiction? Me thinks...No to both questions.

It comes back to the whole idea of fiction. Fiction is just that...fiction. It’s not real, it’s made up. Your children will know that even though Peter Pan can fly...you can’t fly in real life, unless you’re in an aeroplane.

The most important part of fiction is to teach children the fundamental truth of life...that good always will verse evil and good, will always win. This is an important lesson for children to learn, because they need to learn that if they do something bad, they are going to get caught and punished. And if they do something good they will be rewarded. 

Now, in reality this is not always the case. Good people are not rewarded and Bad people tend to live very full lives. BUT...the place that this is most relevant...is in the hereafter. In the world after this one, the good will be rewarded the bad will be punished and justice will reign. Fiction (most of them) reinforces this idea in scenarios that make it almost real to the reader. Key word here...is almost. This is fiction having a purpose.

I hate fiction that doesn’t have anything substantial behind it. A story that doesn’t have a moral, to me is not a story. It is just an opportunity for the writer to self-indulge in his or her delusions for nothing more than to please their own ego.

The one thing I think is dangerous about Harry Potter/Hunger games is it teaches children about power in a negative way. Magic (or physical strength that is non-human) has an element of ‘god like’ actions because it gives the person the ability to control things that by human standards are uncontrollable. It makes the reader feel like they wish they had the power “of god”.

This is very dangerous, because as we grow up, we learn that Power is not something that can be found through a spell or toxic waste dump. It does exist, but not as we thought it did. It is something that is very valuable and it is something that everyone fights for and more importantly, something that you will not have all of the time. 

Whether it is the desire to have the power to change the weather or say a spell to fix your glasses, the desire for power that was not meant to be yours is dangerous. Who knows how that desire will be nurtured and how it will grow. Who knows what lengths people will go through just to feel an ounce of such power? Will they go looking in dark places for magic? Will they oppress people in their lives to feel powerful? Because ultimately, it is the feeling of powerlessness when you are a child, that really does stay with you for the rest of your life.

There are many many positive things that can be learned from fantasy fiction books and really only one bad. Because as Muslim’s we learn that there is only one ultimate power and that is Allah(SWT). For example He controls the weather and is in possession of ultimate strength and most of all He has the power over your life and death. To believe, or even want otherwise is tantamount and in some cases is...shirk; the deadliest of all sins.

Does that mean we stay away from the books...I don’t think so. But you have to teach children the true meaning of fiction.

I always wanted to fly like peter pan when I was a kid...sometimes I still do. Not to feel powerful...to feel free.